Sunday, October 27, 2019

Patience is a Virtue

Good Afternoon love bugs, today we’re gonna discuss patience. I know for myself I absolutely have none. I want everything to happen right then and right now and no I don’t wanna wait. So over the past few weeks I’ve really been talking to God. I’ve been praying day and night, I’ve whipped out my sage and incense, and I’ve just been trying to manifest in the things that I want. Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting discouraged because sometimes I don’t see my dreams and prayers coming into form. However today in my Sunday afternoon bubble bath I recapped things going on in my life and God is moving. So Asia is no pastor but I do believe in God and I do believe sometimes he puts us in situations and storms to be able to share with our people. It’s been multiple people who have stepped to me asking questions or just expressing themselves because God gave me this platform to relate and be there for y’all. So as I’m in the tub thinking I’m like damn I gotta put this in the blog. I had been praying over the podcast and whether or not I should do it or if I was ready. Now I don’t know if any of you have ever read the book The Alchemist but please do. I meant to write a blog on it but I never got around to it. Anyways part of the book is encouraging this young man to chase his dream and multiple times in the book they reference that if something is your personal legend then the universe will align for you to reach it no matter what obstacles you’re going through. So there was a day that I was beating myself up and I’m like naw I can’t do this podcast. When I tell y’all out of the blue an associate not even a close friend but associate hit me up like “Girl when is the podcast coming out?”. Then later that night I spoke to a young woman I was building a friendship with and mentioned the podcast and she was like oh you have the tone and the demeanor to run a podcast. So then a couple days go by and it’s still weighing on me and honestly it’s just the fear of failure but we all know that fear will definitely make you change your mind. Anyways my cousin who I spoke to about the podcast slides in my inbox with definite plans. This was big for me because even though we spoke on it I wasn’t sure how serious he was but yeah he was dead ass. So those were signs for me that I’m doing the right things and despite my fears and doubts God is making this happen and he’s pushing it forward. Okay so another thing I had been praying for is my love life. Listen I never tell every detail of my love life cause baby that changes daily. However I spoke to God about something very specific. When I spoke to him I said lord just give me a sign and put me in the right position of what I should do. Friday I went to see my therapist and don’t yall know everything God wanted me to hear he put in that man’s mouth. It was literally almost as if I had butt dialed my therapist while praying. Then that same not God put me in position for something else like damn magic. So if you’re out there feeling discouraged or feeling like things aren’t moving your way please pay attention to the signs and please remain steadfast and patient because our season is coming and everything we prayed for is being manifested as we speak!! Love y’all ❤️

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Self-Care

Good morning my loves.....Happy Sunday....I would usually be depressed  because I hate Sundays but I have tomorrow off and I get a new puppy today annndddd I get to go home and watch Power so it’s lit. However we will not be celebrating Columbus Day 🤧 if y’all want the woke blog on that just comment below or slide in my DMs cause my real friends know how I get this blog can go from India Arie to 1982 Angela Davis real gah damn quick. Anyways for the past two weeks I was having migraines on top of migraines and then back pains and feeling sluggish and disgusting however this weekend I felt great. I can attribute that to the fact that I just saw one of my best friends for the first time in a year and we really had a fun time not to mention I had my forever PIC Harmony with me. Anyways this morning as I’m in this comfortable hotel bed I realize my next mini vacation isn’t until November so does this mean I get to spend the next three weeks with a migraine. Naw we ain’t doing that so I decided to impose a self care challenge on myself. I’ve invited people on social media to do it so it’ll be a collective group trying to get better. At the end of the 30 days I’ll blog about my experience before and after and those who participated. Also if you’d like to join please comment below or slide in my DMs or reach out to me via social media or email. Anyways the stipulations are
1. Celibacy (this includes toys and masturbation)
2. Read a book of your choice for at least 30 minutes every night
3.Workout for at least 30 minutes 5 days a week
4. No fast food or friend foods
5. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day
6.Do something special for yourself each week (This could be grabbing your favorite cup of coffee, a mani/pedi, going out for drinks, the spa, going to the beach.....just anything that’s a stress reliever and can put a smile on your face.

I’m expecting great results from this and I really need to detoxify my spirit right now so I’m super excited. We’ll be starting tomorrow and I hope all of my love bugs join.

Saturday, October 12, 2019

I’m not relaxing shit

Damn y’all I honestly had no intentions of posting a blog today. I’m actually out in Orlando reuniting with one of my best friends and having a small getaway. Anyways I just woke up at 6 am from a nightmare and I woke up with this topic heavy on my heart. So let’s get into it. A couple weeks ago I was talking to a dude in my DMs (also s very good friend) and we were discussing relationship standards and I told him at this point in my like I want what I want and I’m not settling so he said something to the effect of don’t be too harsh and miss out on your blessing. I texted back yeah yeah but then I really sat there and thought about it and said fuck all that especially when it comes to dating men. Now when I say standards I’m not talking about I’m over here demanding a man who makes six figures or only drives foreign or no shit like that. Although I do appreciate men who spoil me I also have been doing for myself for awhile now so I got it covered. Plus you can’t expect those things from someone if you don’t have them. That goes for men too cause some of y’all get on social media and drag women for their appearance and forget that at the age of 26 your nose still runs, you still have bad acne, you can’t dress, and your dick little. So it trips me out when y’all describe these perfect women like she’d skip past all Tyson Beckfords in the world and come lay with yo dusty ashy ass. Anyways though when I say standards I mean emotionally. I noticed in this new generation men ride the “I’m hurt” wave to escape stepping up to the plate and being emotionally and mentally accountable in relationships. Like a nigga will be so hurt from the past but somehow those trash ass dicks work but I’m just saying. Ladies hold these men accountable and if you run into a man who can’t give you what you need bounce. I’m not a huge Evelyn Lozada fan but something she said stuck out to me “I know what I bring to the table so I’m not afraid to eat alone”. Check it out y’all let me tell you why emotionally and mentally i have standards that I will not relax. At the age of 18 I was sexually assaulted and later raped. I got the choice to say no taken from me because a man felt that his sexual urges overpowered my freedom to wear what I want and be free, he saw boobs and a butt and knew he had to have it no matter if I said no or stop. I got married at the age of 20 and got straight into cater mode. I got pregnant which was one of the most beautiful and difficult experiences I’ve ever had. During that pregnancy I was very depressed and scared. During that same pregnancy my husband cheated on me not once but twice. I wanted to leave but I was terrified of first what everyone would say about my perfect marriage falling apart and two I never dreamed of being a single mother. I remember going to this Pentecostal church crying dead ass crying about my marriage and one of the mothers in the church told me divorce was not an option. At this same time I’m occasionally getting slapped around or verbally abused. I remember one night our argument got so bad he told me I’d be a horrible mother and I wasn’t worth shit....I got slapped too but he brought home roses and I was young and didn’t know what my standards were so I stayed. I had my beautiful daughter and fell into post partum depression. My body changed completely my hormones were everywhere and all of a sudden I was responsible for this human. Harmony actually wasn’t a hard baby though just fat. I would say a month after giving birth I found out my husband cheated yet again . At a moment where I felt my most vulnerable my stomach was big and saggy I had stretch marks I never had before my boobs were leaking and I was getting cheated on.  Through the course of that marriage I got guns pulled on me I got hit on in public parking lots just all types of crazy shit. Fast forward to a couple relationships in the future. I started dating this guy he had several mental issues you know PTSD, Depression, and things of that nature. I know how it feels to be in those positions so I took upon myself to spoil and cater to him. Anything he want he got. I was getting off of work heading to his place cleaning, constantly bringing dinner. Oh you want your dick sucked oh let me do that right now. You want to fuck even though I’m tired naw it’s okay mount up. Still got cheated on. So check this out when I tell a man I want romance, I want honesty, I want effective communication, and so on I’m not relaxing a motherfucking thing. IDGAF. Cause if I acted like what I’d been through  I be the City Girls on ten. So ladies and damaged men too if y’all keep hearing folks tell y’all they can’t live up to your standards cut sling load. It’s 2019 and just like y’all call the City Girls our for scamming dudes physically when y’all purposely walk around pretending you can’t cater to your significant others emotional and mental needs you’re scamming them emotionally. It’s 2019 we’ve all been hurt and we’ve all been through some deep dark shit but y’all gotta stop using that as excuses to why you can’t step up and be a decent human being to people you love or fuck with. We complain about dating in this generation but refuse to hold ourselves accountable as to why it’s fucked up. Everyone walking on egg shells on some “I’ve been hurt so I’m gonna be this tough until you prove me wrong” naw that’s not how it works. Also you can’t negotiate normal relationship needs because you’re lazy or selfish. It’s really men out here like “I don’t cheat but I suck at communicating so I may not talk to you for a week or so” no sweetie that’s not a fair trade that’s like you asking me for 2K20 and I come home with Street Hoops 97 like well I still bought you a game. Naw that shit ain’t cool and it’s a lot of y’all with the game fucked up both men and women. However if you’re one of the few that know what you have to offer and know that you need your standards met take this time to heal and enjoy life. I look at my friends and happy and healthy relationships and I’m legit happy for them but I’m also extremely comfortable in my single season. I take myself out and I spoil myself. I’ve learned to be intimate with myself I use my alone time to pray over myself and better myself so when that person who can meet my standards comes I’m the best version of myself I can give. Anyways I gotta get dressed to go get coffee....Love y’all ❤️

Monday, October 7, 2019

Productive Communication

Y’all first let me apologize for being out of the loop for the past couple weeks. I have a lot going on both good and bad and that’s been occupying my time. However I’d like to let y’all know that the podcast is coming ☺️☺️☺️. The premier date is proposed for Thanksgiving as of right now and I’m so excited to get started. It’s a lot of prep work and money that goes into it otherwise that shit would be up today. However if you would like to support the podcast you can donate through cashapp at $AsiaJ93 and in the subject line make sure you put its for the podcast. Also I’ll be putting out branded merchandise soon so save some coins to get y’all some merch. So anyways yesterday I was about to rip this guy I like a new one like I was really about to tear into him annnndddd a bitch was wrong. Yes although Asia is rarely wrong when I'm wrong I will admit it. So initially I was about to tear into him about our communication he’s not much of a talker and not one to express his feelings but y’all know me I’m very open and I love to interact through speaking. I was wrong though really wrong. So the issue was communication and I initially was putting all the blame on him but I'm about to say something I know will be used against me later. As women we have to listen and we also have to be in tune with our partners. Yes majority of the time we aren't getting fed emotionally or mentally by our partners but we can be so caught up on what we're not getting that we forget our partners need it too and they don’t necessarily need it the same way or in the same fashion. With that being said he had things going on that I had never fathomed because I was caught up on my men ain't shit platform. I think in this generation where couples get it wrong is that we're selfish. We want to love in our terms instead of our partners. Although in a lot of instances me and this man are alike when it comes to love and relationships we are very different and we’ve had very different experiences. So it's been a transition trying to get to know him and what he liked because I'm so used to dealing with things in my own terms instead of his. However, I apologized to him and we're on the right path as of now. I just wanted to put that out there though. So ladies before you completely go off on the deep end have that talk and communicate and realize that communicating includes active listening. Our partners deal with shit just like us except in men especially black men they don't often get that type of love and sympathy so they typically hold everything inside and hide. We not doing this in 2020 though.....I'm about to introduce him to something completely different. I'm not about to be one of those women who takes takes takes no sir. We talking about feelings and emotions. We sharing deep dark secrets and insecurities. We're speaking life into each other and motivating each other. Anyways my loves I gotta go but I just wanted to get that out. Love y'all!!

Six dates and a wedding

So remember when I told y’all I was wilding out after my divorce? Well 2015 to 2017 were some really wild but very fun times in my life. Th...