Monday, September 16, 2019

Worst Sexual Encounter

Hey my loves ❤️so the votes are in on what my next topic should be and you all (nasty asses) voted on my worst sexual experience. There was a few I could’ve threw in here but I narrowed it down to two so if your story isn’t in here be lucky. Okay so the first one was a few years back and y’all I feel bad because this experience was so bad I ended up cheating 😩😩😩. Technically it was my friends fault because they encouraged me to stay even after I detailed this experience. Okay so this was fresh off my separation from my ex-husband and it had been a hot little minute since I had any. I met this dude I worked with and he was really cool. We started off as friends but he shot his relationship shot and I was lonely and depressed so I was like let’s do this. Okay so he’s at my house Harmony ended up spending the night with her nanny so I’m like yep this shit is going down. We we’re watch the babadook on Netflix on July 5,2015 yep I remember the gah damn day that’s how upset it made me. Okay so we’re sitting there and he’s rubbing my little fat thigh and we start kissing. So I take it a step further and hop in his lap straddling him to get a deeper kiss in. Now mind you this is during the time me and my ex-husband are separating so my self-esteem and confidence is hella low. Anyways while I’m straddling him I don’t feel his dick so now I’m like damn I must be ugly or I’m fat or my breath stinks or something cause that straddle always gets the men hard. So he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. So he asks me if I can suck him off. So I’m like okay I’ve known him the required amount of time and he’s taken me on the necessary amount of dates to get this treatment. Y’all I pulled down his pants and couldn’t believe my eyes. Homie had been hard the whole time he just had a little Vienna sausage and I’m not exaggerating like I have a little brother who’s diapers I had to change and they were in a tight race. So then I’m like damn I really like this dude and I’d feel so shallow breaking things off because of his size. So I’m pep talking myself like okay I can do this. Y’all then I get immediately mad because it feels like a peppermint in my mouth. So I give him a good two minutes before I’m annoyed cause he’s doing all this moaning and I can’t do none of my little tricks cause I’m scared I’m gonna swallow it whole. So I’m like okay just get on top. I honestly felt the tiniest insertion like usually my little face scrunches up and I give that deep sigh but nope. Then he keeps slipping in and out every time he tries to stroke so at this point I’m livid. So I push him off cause I’m like Tokyo Toni at this point 🗣I’M READY TO GET THE FUCK.....ASAP AFTER THIS SHIT. He suggests that we flip over and he try it from the back 😒😒😒sir you were drowning from the front and couldn’t stay in and you think you’re gonna survive behind all this ass 🙄🙄🙄🙄. Pause* now fellas please stop dating us females with asses bigger than ya granny’s old school tv in her living room. Like he’s been the smallest but he’s not the only small one that’s tried. & I don’t care what y’all say while the motion in the ocean does matter y’all ain’t about to let some small ass sailboat in you when you craving a yacht. Anyways so after I’m mad as hell he talking about I must be tired that’s why I don’t wanna finish....biiiiittttccchhhh 😂😂😂😂😂 At this point I needed him gone. Needless to say that was our first and last time having sex and I ended up cheating on him with someone who was at least six inches and paid bills 😂😂😂😂😂. Okay for the second one it was the worst for two reasons. Before I start if you’re a guy that’s uncircumcised please understand that while you clean yourself off on top of the skin you still gotta pull that thang back and clean under. Now me and this dude were cool. One night he came over and gave me some of the best head. I wasn’t interested in having sec with him so when he pulled his pants down I rolled over and started snoring. However not before I noticed he was packing a nice bit. So around the third time of him giving me head I’m like fuck it let’s do this. One minute and forty-five seconds later we were done. A bitch didn’t get the chance to get a little rhythm with her hips or switch positions. So after he done wasted my time I’m like just go. Like if you know you coming over to visit the super soaker tight grip 3000 then you gotta rub the first one out on the top way 🙄🙄🙄like can a bitch get at least ten minutes. That wasn’t the worst part though. So I’m super sentive down there and I can’t have sex with sweaty penis, after work penis, stink penis or anything of that nature. Like when I hear about other females in the Army having sex in the field or in Connex’s where it’s stank and muggy, or ports potty’s 🤧🤧🤧I be thinking 🗣you dirty bitches. Anyways I told him to shower before he shows up at my door cause I don’t like dirty dick. Well I thought all uncircumcised men knew it takes a little bit more to get cleaned up. Apparently he didn’t know. The next morning I wake up boom a yeast infection. I mean listen I HATE yeast infections because all day you walking around itching like fuck and you can’t scratch and when you do you damn near gonna scrape your skin off. Then what made it even ten times worse is I didn’t have my detox pearls and I ran out of my yoni steam so then I gotta settle for using the chemical shit that burns. Never in my life had I ever caught a yeast infection from sex. Shit I didn’t think he was in there long enough to throw my PH balance off but 🙄🙄🙄I was wrong. Before y’all ask yes it was a yeast infection I get checked before and after any new partners. But yeah those are my two worst sexual encounters 😂😂😂😂. Don’t ask me who cause I’m not gonna do them like that even though EVERYONE knows who the first one is 😂😂😂😂

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