Monday, September 16, 2019

Worst Sexual Encounter

Hey my loves ❤️so the votes are in on what my next topic should be and you all (nasty asses) voted on my worst sexual experience. There was a few I could’ve threw in here but I narrowed it down to two so if your story isn’t in here be lucky. Okay so the first one was a few years back and y’all I feel bad because this experience was so bad I ended up cheating 😩😩😩. Technically it was my friends fault because they encouraged me to stay even after I detailed this experience. Okay so this was fresh off my separation from my ex-husband and it had been a hot little minute since I had any. I met this dude I worked with and he was really cool. We started off as friends but he shot his relationship shot and I was lonely and depressed so I was like let’s do this. Okay so he’s at my house Harmony ended up spending the night with her nanny so I’m like yep this shit is going down. We we’re watch the babadook on Netflix on July 5,2015 yep I remember the gah damn day that’s how upset it made me. Okay so we’re sitting there and he’s rubbing my little fat thigh and we start kissing. So I take it a step further and hop in his lap straddling him to get a deeper kiss in. Now mind you this is during the time me and my ex-husband are separating so my self-esteem and confidence is hella low. Anyways while I’m straddling him I don’t feel his dick so now I’m like damn I must be ugly or I’m fat or my breath stinks or something cause that straddle always gets the men hard. So he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. So he asks me if I can suck him off. So I’m like okay I’ve known him the required amount of time and he’s taken me on the necessary amount of dates to get this treatment. Y’all I pulled down his pants and couldn’t believe my eyes. Homie had been hard the whole time he just had a little Vienna sausage and I’m not exaggerating like I have a little brother who’s diapers I had to change and they were in a tight race. So then I’m like damn I really like this dude and I’d feel so shallow breaking things off because of his size. So I’m pep talking myself like okay I can do this. Y’all then I get immediately mad because it feels like a peppermint in my mouth. So I give him a good two minutes before I’m annoyed cause he’s doing all this moaning and I can’t do none of my little tricks cause I’m scared I’m gonna swallow it whole. So I’m like okay just get on top. I honestly felt the tiniest insertion like usually my little face scrunches up and I give that deep sigh but nope. Then he keeps slipping in and out every time he tries to stroke so at this point I’m livid. So I push him off cause I’m like Tokyo Toni at this point 🗣I’M READY TO GET THE FUCK.....ASAP AFTER THIS SHIT. He suggests that we flip over and he try it from the back 😒😒😒sir you were drowning from the front and couldn’t stay in and you think you’re gonna survive behind all this ass 🙄🙄🙄🙄. Pause* now fellas please stop dating us females with asses bigger than ya granny’s old school tv in her living room. Like he’s been the smallest but he’s not the only small one that’s tried. & I don’t care what y’all say while the motion in the ocean does matter y’all ain’t about to let some small ass sailboat in you when you craving a yacht. Anyways so after I’m mad as hell he talking about I must be tired that’s why I don’t wanna finish....biiiiittttccchhhh 😂😂😂😂😂 At this point I needed him gone. Needless to say that was our first and last time having sex and I ended up cheating on him with someone who was at least six inches and paid bills 😂😂😂😂😂. Okay for the second one it was the worst for two reasons. Before I start if you’re a guy that’s uncircumcised please understand that while you clean yourself off on top of the skin you still gotta pull that thang back and clean under. Now me and this dude were cool. One night he came over and gave me some of the best head. I wasn’t interested in having sec with him so when he pulled his pants down I rolled over and started snoring. However not before I noticed he was packing a nice bit. So around the third time of him giving me head I’m like fuck it let’s do this. One minute and forty-five seconds later we were done. A bitch didn’t get the chance to get a little rhythm with her hips or switch positions. So after he done wasted my time I’m like just go. Like if you know you coming over to visit the super soaker tight grip 3000 then you gotta rub the first one out on the top way 🙄🙄🙄like can a bitch get at least ten minutes. That wasn’t the worst part though. So I’m super sentive down there and I can’t have sex with sweaty penis, after work penis, stink penis or anything of that nature. Like when I hear about other females in the Army having sex in the field or in Connex’s where it’s stank and muggy, or ports potty’s 🤧🤧🤧I be thinking 🗣you dirty bitches. Anyways I told him to shower before he shows up at my door cause I don’t like dirty dick. Well I thought all uncircumcised men knew it takes a little bit more to get cleaned up. Apparently he didn’t know. The next morning I wake up boom a yeast infection. I mean listen I HATE yeast infections because all day you walking around itching like fuck and you can’t scratch and when you do you damn near gonna scrape your skin off. Then what made it even ten times worse is I didn’t have my detox pearls and I ran out of my yoni steam so then I gotta settle for using the chemical shit that burns. Never in my life had I ever caught a yeast infection from sex. Shit I didn’t think he was in there long enough to throw my PH balance off but 🙄🙄🙄I was wrong. Before y’all ask yes it was a yeast infection I get checked before and after any new partners. But yeah those are my two worst sexual encounters 😂😂😂😂. Don’t ask me who cause I’m not gonna do them like that even though EVERYONE knows who the first one is 😂😂😂😂

Monday, September 9, 2019

DragCon NYC 2019

So my big weekend in New York is over my loves. First of let me start off by saying this was literally THE best weekend I’ve had this year and probably that I’ve had in a few years. First the week started off horrible. My college professor pissed me off being anal and incorrect and then further trying to prove a point when she was wrong. Y’all I just want this Bachelors degree and to be out cause honestly although I love learning I hate school. Next Hurricane Dorian came through with his slow and indecisive ass so my week was pretty much thrown for a loop because everything was revolving around his appearance. Through all the canceled and rescheduled flights and the one tree branch that fell in front of my car.....n***a we made it 😂😂😂😂. So last the tea that’s brewing is....Asia is now single. Now y’all don’t start flipping out and overreacting it’s fine. As y’all embark on this journey with me we will hop in and out of relationships. I say WE because when y’all read this blog we are one and y’all who support me are family so WE. Anyways yeah I’m going through a breakup I haven’t cried or put on my Keyshia Cole and K Michelle playlist so I think I’m good. Before y’all flood me with messages no I don’t wanna talk about it and when I’m ready I will. However, you would think that would throw off my whole mood but I still found a way to be excited AF about my trip. Anyways the purpose of my trip was to attend DragCon 2019 in NYC. Those of you who aren’t familiar it’s like the ComicCon for Drag Queens put together by the SUPREME Mama RuPaul herself. I have always been a slight fan of RuPaul since her appearance in my favorite movie “Crooklyn” I can quote her line to this day “Unt Unh I ain’t no Puta I keeps my 🐱clean” anyways after meeting my bff Mike he turned me into a super fan of RuPauls show DragRace. As I got more into the show I got more into individual queens and of course Mama Ru herself. Being bffs with Mike has thrown me into the LGBT 🏳️‍🌈community because he’s a proud gay man and he’s not my only friend I have plenty of them who I love and support dearly. Anyways I’ll dig deeper into that as I describe my weekend. So Friday because my plane was delayed we get there late. Mind you this is my first real time in New York...I’d been once before but that was in passing and that’s another story for Tea time...listen New York is a different type of city but I honestly dig it. We get to the convention center and the first person I run into is TS Madison...obviously you know her from vine videos and the Queens Court the original!! She was so sweet and soft as hell might I add..I really didn’t want to let her go at all. Anyways she was a doll and a great way to start off the weekend. Friday was pretty much us meeting various queens and walking around. Until we went to the comedy show where I really laughed my ass off. Listen so much happened in that panel that eventually made me and Harmony DragCon famous for a weekend 😂😂😂😂it was good though. Saturday was the busy day. We started the day off watching the Queens walk down the runway and if you follow me on snap you saw me screaming and fangirling like I was 10. After that the most amazing thing happened. RuPaul popped up and did a DJ set and we were allowed to jump on stage and dance for him while he watched. It was amazing to me because one the crowd was so warm and fun and open and for two RuPaul said he loved Harmony and I blew him a kiss and he blew one back. See how dudes be acting over Lebron and MJ is how I feel about Mama Ru so 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️it was a big deal to me. Not only that but then I met a few of my favorite Queens and ended up getting a few autographs and laughs in the mix. I ended the day being a complete tourist and taking photos in Times Square which,  by the way is crowded as hell and no one in New York walks slow. Also driving two blocks is like a 15 minute ride because the traffic is just as bad as it seems in the movies. It was beautiful though. I love being in areas that are bigger than I am and just soaking up energy. We ended the night having some New York style pizza at this quaint Ninja Turtles inspired pizzeria. Sunday my last day was no difference, I danced my big ass off for Ru. Harmony had to give Ru two dances and one of the famous queens danced with her on stage along with two strangers who just loved her. I met a young boy who is gay. Before y’all get on here like “kids don’t know what their sexuality is or what they like” think back to your first little notes in school or your boyfriend or girlfriend. I knew I was attracted to boys in 3rd grade so miss me with the bullshit. What inspired me though was his mother. I could tell she was there on behalf of her son and that probably prior to him she had no affiliation with the community but baby she supported the fuck out of her son. I ended up chatting with her as she did his makeup and sat through one of the panels and that shit touched me. A lot of gays in the community feel empty from abandonment of their family because we feel like we as a people (especially the black community) have to judge homosexuality so harsh and we claim it’s on behalf of religion and I’m not trying to get to deep but in my spirit I know that GOD does not hate Love and I doubt that in the afterlife he’s sending people to hell because they fell in Love. I know that’s what organized religion says but it says a lot of things and at the end of the day I’d never turn my nose up at love. Quick anecdote here...a couple years ago one of my older cousins died. When she died we found out she had a girlfriend. My family was so unaccepting of it that instead of comforting the grieving girlfriend we either ignored it or gossiped about it which leads me to believe that this is why my cousin didn’t come out. Just imagine though having to hide such a big part of your life because of judgement and shame. Anyways the mother there really inspired me as a parent. Harmony is too young to really grasp sexuality beyond what she’s told but I feel like if I were ever in that position that mother is who I want to be. After that I met TODRICK Hall who I adore and is so handsome and just FYI smells delicious, followed by more queens and a selfie with Ross Matthews and Carson Kressley...yes I’m still gagging. The last event of the day was the panel with Ru and Whoopi Goldberg. We literally had to wait in line two hours prior to get good seats. During the panel though they gave so much inspiration. See I went to DragCon to meet my favorite queens and gag over looks and have fun but in all of that it was so many lessons. From the panels, to Ru, to the drag queens reading kids stories, to the small business vendors, and all. DragCon supported being you the you that makes you comfortable. Loving yourself in all forms and no matter what the judgement. In the building it was mad (see my New York slang) love I danced with strangers I’ll probably never see again. Shared snacks and phone charges, took pictures and belted our terrible renditions of our favorite songs. We shared stories of where we came from and why we were there. I even met people that I think I will form friendships with. I think that’s why my weekend was so great and why everything that happened before just melted away. I was really unapologetically being ASIA. That’s what I want to do out of life. I literally didn’t have one sip of alcohol, I didn’t do any drugs, I wasn’t in the club but I literally had one of the best times of my life. That’s what living your best life is l. When you don’t need anything but love and good vibes to have an amazing time. When just hopping on a plane and getting away can ease your mind. So that’s me and Harmony for the rest of our lives. Traveling going to places filled with love and spreading that same love. This weekend left me with a different kind of high and I was here for it. Also let me know some topics you would want me to speak on or questions you want me to answer on the blog!!Love y’all ❤️❤️

Six dates and a wedding

So remember when I told y’all I was wilding out after my divorce? Well 2015 to 2017 were some really wild but very fun times in my life. Th...