Monday, August 26, 2019

Vindicated

Whew chile it’s been a rough five years dealing with Harmony’s father but today I was vindicated. So for those of you that don’t know me and Harmony’s father divorced when she was a little over one. We’ve been estranged since she was about 8 to 10 months. A day after our divorce was finalized he married his mistress who is partially to blame for our divorce. I say partially cause honestly it was so so much going on that one day I’ll tell in its entirety. Anyways when we were together I’d say my ex-husband was a good father. Now he wasn’t jumping out of the bed to do feedings or nothing but he was present and he loved Harmony. That all changed after him and his mistress became one. As we divorced even though we hated each other we agreed that on the behalf of Harmony we’d co-parent and do right by her. That never happened. Unfortunately Harmony hasn’t seen her father since her first birthday. They talk twice a year and he recently started sending her gifts for Christmas and her Birthday. It’s hard y’all like no cap being a single mother is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. For those of you who personally know me I probably walk around strong and tough as hell. Little do y’all know there’s nights where I cry myself to sleep. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional just a lot. Motherhood especially single and doing it on your own is 24/7. There’s no sick days, ain’t nobody out here babysitting for free, ain’t nobody cashapping me for the extra-curricular activities, the clothes she either grows out of or rips, the field trips, the salon trips, or vacations. However I do this...y’all can say whatever about me but y’all can’t say I don’t rock this mom thing and put Harmony first. Anyways for Harmony’s Birthday in July her Paternal Grandmother sent her a gift. That was a first for me so being the bigger person I called her to tell her thank you. We spoke and she apologized on missing out on the first five years of Harmony’s life and promised she wanted to make some changes. Listen I’m all for mending fences and growth so I was with it. So over the weeks since then I’ve been sending her photos and videos of Harmony. I’ve told her about Harmony’s personality and little milestones in her life. We’ve just really been building a relationship. So I called her tonight so Harmony could tell her how school was going welll after she spoke with Harmony she wanted to talk to me. Pause. This is God because y’all know that scripture Psalms 7:8 The LORD judges the peoples; Vindicate me, O LORD, according to my righteousness and my integrity that is in me. That’s exactly what happened. I’ve been over here getting myself together and really trying to better myself and the lord is really turning things over in my favor. Anyways she gets on the phone and apologizes. See for years the father of my child and his mistress...I mean wife have went around saying that I was so bitter because I wanted him 🙄 and that I kept Harmony from him. Even with all my little receipts 🧾 the folks in his corner always thought it was me. Until now. Apparently Harmony’s grandmother has been trying to get in contact with me for years. She’s been trying to heal the disconnect between myself and Harmony’s father for years but someone *cough,cough* mistress err I mean wife had been working against it. Isn’t that crazy? Imagine being the type of woman who doesn’t want you to be around your flesh and blood because she feels threatened. Didn’t want my ex to get her gifts, didn’t want his mother to get her gifts. His mother told me she figured this out because when they reconnected after a year of not talking she kept asking about Harmony and he had no answers. 🗣STILL DON’T. His mother got on to him and said everything that I’ve been saying. She asked him how could he be this amazing stepfather and then neglect the child that came from him (excuse me I just got up to do a praise break and speak in tongues) she also told him she wouldn’t do for his other child (conceived during my marriage 🤧) and stepchild until he started working towards a better relationship with Harmony. So now the wife is mad because his mother is mentioning Harmony and asking for Harmony and saying me and him need to communicate meanwhile she’s pulling a Bambi (love and hip hop reference) saying if it isn’t broke don’t fix it.See this might not mean much to y’all but for years I’ve had to deal with the back and forth so to finally hear someone in his corner telling him what it is and sticking up for ME (opp another praise break....I’m shouting so hard my church mother wig about to come off) . See what men don’t know is just how it’s bitter baby mama’s it can be bitter wives. Out of his mothers mouth she spoke on how the new wife doesn’t want him around Harmony because she’s scared that how she got him is the same way she’s gonna lose him. Sweetie let that man step up to the plate for his child because I can promise you I don’t want him. Sis you’d be crazy to think I’m gonna give up what I have now to run back to him. Plus she been knew the real 🤧🤧 but that’s another story for another time.All this time it’s been Asia is bitter but I’m glad people can see that it isn’t me. However shout out to his mom because I held hatred for the whole family because he was neglecting Harmony but y’all she’s trying. Harmony has now spoken to her grandmother more in the past two months than she has to her dad in the past year. She’s calling, she’s texting, and she’s set up a date to meet. So we’ll see. I’m glad she’s gained another set of grandparents but I’m also glad that the truth is coming out. Love y’all ❤️

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