Saturday, July 20, 2019

Protecting My Energy

Good evening babes....this week I was on vacation so I've been slacking just a little bit. Y'alls e-niece had her fifth birthday and in this household birthdays are like a national holiday. Anyways this week I'd like to talk about a new found approach to life I've found. Okay so let me start on how this came about. I had a friend come to me Mother's Day weekend telling me she wanted me to come to her baby shower. Mind you me and this friend aren't in the same area but we talk enough for her to tell me she was pregnant but no sis waited until a month before the baby shower and was like yeah you better be there. So it wasn't just me she kept it from it was pretty much everyone. I didn't understand why she would keep something so big and exciting so private and secretive. So then last month I get a text from another friend and boom she's pregnant and guess what she told me early but that too has been a secret. Like I'm so excited I want to tell the world but her and her husband want it private. Then another friend popped out with boom I'm engaged. So I'm wondering why my friends are on this wave of privacy. I mean deleting social media for long periods of time and just glowing up in private. I see why now. Listen the past couple weeks I've been keeping the deep parts of my life a secret and it's been wonderful. Career wise, school wise, relationship wise, family wise......I mean all of it. It's peaceful. A lot of times we tell things seeking approval or praise and folks don't really care they just wanna be nosey. Then you have those with slick and negative comments, those overstepping their boundaries, those who are judgemental and think they're better than you and those waiting for you to fail. I've been at peace keeping all my shit to myself. For instance I've recently started back up talking to someone that I had drifted away from. I know if I post him or start telling folks it's gonna be opinions from EVERYBODY. He ain't this or he ain't that or y'all don't seem compatible. Or it'll be comments on our arrangements for the time being. Right now though with him being my secret and what we have being between us feels so good. My image of him and his of me aren't tainted by other folks opinion and before it was. I don't know it's like a genuine appreciation of life when you can absorb it for yourself. I just had the conversation with my friends a few weeks ago that when I settle down folks won't know until the wedding photos are posted......PERIOD. Until then y'all getting photos of him cropped out or and emoji over his face so in case we do break up ya'll won't know it. I won't have to hear who he used to mess with or anyone's opinion of him AT ALL. Same thing career wise. Every move I'm making is just for me right now as soon as someone tries to get too nosey oooppp subject change. There's so many changes about to happen in my life but I want that to resonate within me. It's not that I'm ashamed of anything because let's be clear I'm not but I just want love and positive vibes around. I see so many people who have to tell folks everything and I'm like why. I'll say forty percent of the people you tell are genuinely happy. Ten percent don't care. Twenty -five percent waiting on you to crash and burn and the other twenty-five talking about you with their clique of friends. So for me I'll announce my happiness when I'm ready. Until then just know we're good and moves are being made and those that really fuck with me are gonna support me and respect every decision made whether publicly or privately. Peace, Love, and Happiness......Asia J

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