Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Baby Mama Drama

I’m a single mother. Not by choice. I don’t think anyone wants to be a single parent. There are some single mothers who are really out there struggling. Really out there dealing with deadbeats. Carrying most or all of the weight on their backs. Then their are a lot of y’all bitches that are just bitter. Yeah I said it. I love my ladies. I sympathize with my ladies but I am gonna keep it real with y’all and tell y’all when y’all are being cunts. So check it ladies these men may not want us they may do us wrong they may diss us but that does not take away from how they feel about their children. We have to stop using children as pawns in toxic relationships against our children’s father. If you’ve made a child with a man and he’s actively trying and he wants to be in that mans life then let him please let him. It’s a lot of us women who can’t relate and wish we had that. I’m just getting to the point where Harmony’s dad is actually sending her a gift for her birthday and saying maybe he’ll come spend time with her (fingers crossed). Y’all have men who are buying gifts and clothes or spending what they can and begging for quality time and y’all are withholding that over personal grudges because he broke your heart. While you aren’t realizing you’re hurting your child more than anything. I know so many men that yes they suck in relationships but they are bomb as fathers and they are going through it because the mothers are bitter and hurt over a heartbreak. Let that hurt go sis. When I was a child my mother did and said a lot of petty things to cause a rift in between me and my father and at the end of the day in all honesty it made me look at her differently. I even discuss it in therapy to this day.....yep 26 years later. So while you’re upset cause this man doesn’t want you in all actuality you’re building a childhood that you’re child is gonna have to heal from. You’re becoming a toxic parent yourself. I have a homeboy right now and him and his baby mother recently split. Since their split she’s made his life hell. I wrote this blog today off the strength of him because the past few months things have only gotten worse and I see him trying but she’s so bitter. I mean sis pulls up to his house vandalizing his shit. She sends him death threats. She uses their child as a pawn. Now though she’s doing these things in front on the child and we all can see it’s affecting the child. So I want to reach out to all my fellow sisters to tell y’all this isn’t the move. If he broke your heart let that hurt go. Moving through his child is not the way it works. Creating tension in a broken home is not what you want. I divorced my ex-husband because I had to for my safety and livelihood. I desperately wanted him and my daughter to still have a relationship but that wasn’t in his plans but as a genuine single mother y’all don’t want this life sis don’t push away the other parent over heartbreak. Doing everything alone isn’t easy. Handling all the bills, paying for alone time, helping with homework, having to handle all parent teacher conferences and extra curricular’s by yourself, all the sick days, the nightmares, this real single parent shit ain’t easy so if you have a parent that wants to be there drop that hurt and move on. That man doesn’t have to be with you to be there for his child!! & to all the men dealing with these type of women I apologize because children aren’t pawns and you have just as much rights as the mother. We need to do better by our children!!

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