Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Baby Mama Drama

I’m a single mother. Not by choice. I don’t think anyone wants to be a single parent. There are some single mothers who are really out there struggling. Really out there dealing with deadbeats. Carrying most or all of the weight on their backs. Then their are a lot of y’all bitches that are just bitter. Yeah I said it. I love my ladies. I sympathize with my ladies but I am gonna keep it real with y’all and tell y’all when y’all are being cunts. So check it ladies these men may not want us they may do us wrong they may diss us but that does not take away from how they feel about their children. We have to stop using children as pawns in toxic relationships against our children’s father. If you’ve made a child with a man and he’s actively trying and he wants to be in that mans life then let him please let him. It’s a lot of us women who can’t relate and wish we had that. I’m just getting to the point where Harmony’s dad is actually sending her a gift for her birthday and saying maybe he’ll come spend time with her (fingers crossed). Y’all have men who are buying gifts and clothes or spending what they can and begging for quality time and y’all are withholding that over personal grudges because he broke your heart. While you aren’t realizing you’re hurting your child more than anything. I know so many men that yes they suck in relationships but they are bomb as fathers and they are going through it because the mothers are bitter and hurt over a heartbreak. Let that hurt go sis. When I was a child my mother did and said a lot of petty things to cause a rift in between me and my father and at the end of the day in all honesty it made me look at her differently. I even discuss it in therapy to this day.....yep 26 years later. So while you’re upset cause this man doesn’t want you in all actuality you’re building a childhood that you’re child is gonna have to heal from. You’re becoming a toxic parent yourself. I have a homeboy right now and him and his baby mother recently split. Since their split she’s made his life hell. I wrote this blog today off the strength of him because the past few months things have only gotten worse and I see him trying but she’s so bitter. I mean sis pulls up to his house vandalizing his shit. She sends him death threats. She uses their child as a pawn. Now though she’s doing these things in front on the child and we all can see it’s affecting the child. So I want to reach out to all my fellow sisters to tell y’all this isn’t the move. If he broke your heart let that hurt go. Moving through his child is not the way it works. Creating tension in a broken home is not what you want. I divorced my ex-husband because I had to for my safety and livelihood. I desperately wanted him and my daughter to still have a relationship but that wasn’t in his plans but as a genuine single mother y’all don’t want this life sis don’t push away the other parent over heartbreak. Doing everything alone isn’t easy. Handling all the bills, paying for alone time, helping with homework, having to handle all parent teacher conferences and extra curricular’s by yourself, all the sick days, the nightmares, this real single parent shit ain’t easy so if you have a parent that wants to be there drop that hurt and move on. That man doesn’t have to be with you to be there for his child!! & to all the men dealing with these type of women I apologize because children aren’t pawns and you have just as much rights as the mother. We need to do better by our children!!

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Patience is a virtue ❤️

Anyone who knows me knows I lack patience. I think that’s a generational thing. We see things or we  think of things and we want it now like right now. For the past few months that’s been my life. If things haven’t been going my way I quit or give up because I’m frustrated and I think damn if it isn’t happening now then it’ll never happen. For instance career wise something was suppose to happen and it wasn’t moving fast enough and myself along with everyone around me was like “well damn if it hasn’t taken off yet then it isn’t taking off at all....but God....whole time I’m over here doing the absolute most about why my shit ain’t moving as fast as everyone else’s it’s because folks were really out here looking out for me. See sometimes we forget slow and steady wins the race.  Yesterday while I’m discussing my situation with the person over it all he’s laying out the whole plan for me and I feel stupid cause had I rushed I could’ve missed out on hella coins and opportunities. Then I think back to two years ago when I first started my blog on blogspot. I remember I felt like I wasn’t getting enough views so I quit. No first few weeks in this and my views are steadily rising and it’s not just the views but y’all actually vibe with me like the feedback and the love is overwhelming and I love it. I just want to let y’all know that if you feel like something isn’t moving fast enough for you don’t stress. If you didn’t get that job you applied for, if you didn’t get approved for that car or that house, or whatever it is you’re going for. Be patient man. People are gonna question if moves are being made in your life and you don’t have to answer to ANYONE. I don’t tell anyone anything anymore I just prepare myself for this season of upcoming blessings shit everyone will see it when it gets here. Even with my love life. I tried to rush it with one situation and God was over here planting seeds in a situation I wasn’t even focused on. So patience baby. I promise everything you’re stressed about, everything you’re giving yourself a hard time about is already being worked out. Take your time.

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Therapy!

So I know there is this negative stigma about going to therapy and mental illnesses. However, I really feel like it's beneficial to go to therapy for everyone ESPECIALLY those of us in the African American community. After an amazing therapy session with my therapist yesterday I figured I would share how therapy has helped me and hopefully encourage those who have issues to really seek a therapist and really get some healing. Now don't get it twisted when you go to therapy you need to be honest and transparent. I know some folks who go to therapy and still have nasty  attitudes and horrible spirits because they go in and play the victim. That once was me to be honest. However, everyone else is not always the problem. Sometimes you can be your own worse enemy. In this passage I'm really about to admit somethings that I've never publicly came out and said but I know a lot of women and men  who struggle with these issues and like I said before I'm really just trying to spread some light and encourage healing. So growing up in the South whenever we have an issue we're told go to church and try Jesus. I'm telling y'all  now to stop spreading that message. I do believe in God and a higher power but there's more to getting out of your struggles than going to church and praying. We still have to be proactive. Think of it like this would you go to church and just pray for your rent to get paid or are you gonna actually go to work and get money to pay your rent. Most likely the latter and you're gonna pray to maintain that job or obtain a better financial blessing in the midst of it. So around 2015 my marriage was ending. During my marriage I suffered A LOT. I went through physical abuse, infidelity, emotional abuse, and shit financial strains as well. Following my southern upbringing I thought going to church and praying would fix all that. It didn't and that eventually led to me and my ex-husband to a divorce. The church I went to condemned  me for it. They were nice people but their answer to my marital struggles were to stay and pray it out. Even after they looked at me different for now being a single mom.....so obviously that offered me no solace. Towards the ending of my marriage my ex-husband and I had a terrible physical altercation. Usually he would but hands on me. Either he would leave or I would, flowers would be bought or some type of romantic dinner would be planned. This time though it went above and beyond and both me and my neighbors called the cops. We got in a heated argument, which led to him putting his hands on me, which led to him putting a loaded gun to my head.....with my child in my arms. The reason he did this was because after the fight this time I decided to leave for good. I called one of my closest friends and told him me and Harmony were coming to crash on his couch. He told me come on so I packed my shit and tried to leave. Hearing the commotion the neighbors called 911 and as he was walking back and forth putting the gun to my head and then removing it to pace back and forth I had the opportunity to dial 911. The police came and he ended up arrested. Because he was in the military and a child was involved they immediately enrolled us in a family advocacy program so they could thoroughly investigate the situation and I could speak out. First of all at 21 I was a gah damn idiot because I dropped the charges and forgave him but that's a story for another day. However when I spoke to everyone involved in the FAP program they suggested I go to therapy. That's how I met my first therapist. Ms. MF'n TAMMI. Listen I owe this woman my life if it weren't for her I wouldn't be sitting here right now. After that situation I found out my ex-husband also had another child on the way and I had suffered a miscarriage. After that I was pretty much done. In those therapy sessions Tammi gave me the strength to leave. All this shit I'm spilling to y'all has never really been told before and the only person I could share this with was Tammi. She was my therapist from 2015 until about 2017. I saw her every two weeks for about an hour and a half. She told me when I was wrong when I was being stupid she made me look deeper withing myself and address issues I never thought affected me like PTSD, my sex assault, my chronic depression. I was still angry and held so much resentment but with each session I felt lighter and lighter. During that dark year I would be at work smiling and laughing being seemingly normal but would come home and could do nothing. All while having a daughter under the age of one.   It would be nights when I wanted to kill myself and I'd have to call Tammi at home to talk me off a ledge. Tammi encouraged me to be fearless and sis was the one who told me to go into my hoe phase and let loose and have fun. When I spoke to members of my family I got crazy backlash and opinions but therapy works. Nothing addresses your issues like an unbiased expert. I was a young 20 something black female from the south, Tammi was an 50 something white lady from the pacific northwest yet she helped me beyond what I can even describe. The next time I got with a therapist was October 2018. I had just got here to Georgia and this place was stressing me out lord. The vibe and the people here were just different. Washington nor Korea hit like this place. Not only that but I was dealing with hitting the ground running after just literally watching my stepfather die on Facetime that summer and my daughters separation anxiety from me being in Korea for a year. I was overwhelmed getting back into the swing of things. Mr. Brooks is another angel. Yet again someone who is nothing like me. He's a middle aged white man who's big on Christianity. Yet he makes me see these positive reinforcements I can make in my life everyday. Yesterday he mentioned to me how much growth he's seen in me since we first started. He was the one who made me took a hard look at myself and see that I'm not a victim. Since being his patient my whole peaceful transition has been thanks to him. So yeah y'all need to send him a Christmas card cause a lot of y'all got saved from a nice cussing out and ass whooping cause of him. If y'all notice my usual snappy tongue the tongue that has made grown men cry has been replaced with me leaving toxic situations in order to maintain my peace. Lately I've been in this zen state and to even further that my therapist put me on to books and podcasts relating and further explaining what I'm going through and all my many different transitions. So yes my loves I am all for Therapy and I encourage everyone to go. Stop thinking that running to an alter and having someone put their hand on your head is gonna miraculously cure your issues within yourself (not saying church is bad so y'all don't get offended) and for my Army folks especially stop getting off every weekend and getting sloppy and pissy drunk to solve your problems or pretend shit is easy. Get real help and really reinvent yourself I promise you that's the way and like I said before when you're in therapy please don't go in as a victim really take the time to see yourself and your issues from all aspects because we all have something toxic within us and the only way to rid it is by addressing it. Love you all.......Asia J.

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Make up your mind

Whew chile either the male species has gotten softer or the Mercury Retrograde hitting y'all hard. It was a City Boy summer but I'm gonna say the City Boys are dropping points real quick. So remember when I told y'all about D and how he wanted to live his best life.......well as I predicted he wants that old thang back and not just him all my old hoes. I don't know what it is but when I'm happy and content all my old hoes and exes come out of the black hole they sunk into and all of a sudden wanna make things right. See Asia is the type of girl that will cry and be sad for about a week and then after that it's a wrap on to the next. I'm 26 so I'm not chasing anyone or going back and forth or waiting on anyone to give me what I deserve. Ladies after 21 we gotta hold these men/women to higher standards and if they can't meet them then it's time to bounce. Now before a man jumps on here trying to come for me any man I've dated will tell you that everything I require I reciprocate. I pay for dates, I send my man money for his cut or to get his ride washed, I provide great sex, no I'm not asking you to pay my bills or take care of my daughter, and yes I have goals and ambition. So when I require these things just know it's because I'm bringing that same energy to the table. Anyways yesterday on my blog I posted about a new dude I'm talking to. He's honestly not new he's been around but our communication with each other is off and on ESPECIALLY with him being so far away. When he's around though it's a different story. I don't want to sound cheesy or corny but I feel a different type of peace and comfort and the best part about it is we started off like damn Helga and Hey Arnold (if you don't know those references google). I mean I was a complete ass to him and he'll tell you he thought I was bitch. Anywho y'all get that full story if we ever become official official. Anyways my point is when I move on I'm not looking back or sweating no old shit. I hadn't talk to D in weeks and the others probably months and I had no intention to. So D clearly read my blog because his passive aggressive ass deleted our joint Amazon wish list. I mean honestly I didn't care cause this wish list was made back in December since then I've gotten all that shit. The only reason I even knew he deleted it was because he opted for amazon to send me an email notifying me. Dead ass this is what I'm dealing with. Then he got one of his little workers to text me to "check on me" and let me know how I hurt her boss. Mind you I told D what I wanted and what I expected when we had her falling out he let me know that he couldn't provide that at this time. So what do I do move on. If the roles were reversed he'd have Becky with the good hair in the passenger seat of his truck. Fellas if you tell us you can't reciprocate or provide us with what we want we're allowed to move on. I've seen females in the same toxic nasty relationships for years trying to be patient and wait on their relationship come up. Naw boss not me.SO then this other guy right. He's currently deployed. For a few months we hit it hard talking and he wanted to commit so I'm like okay let's do this. Homeboy disappeared for almost a month. His excuse he didn't have service bbbuuutttt homie was posting snaps of him rapping to songs he didn't know the words to. Sir I was born at night not last night. So when he pops back up I'm doing me. Now in his opinion I'm not loyal or solid. Tf. I must be hard as hell or you females dense because in order for these dudes to try this with me it must've worked on y'all. Being with me is like a regular place of employment NO CALL NO SHOW then you have been terminated. So for him to even have the audacity to hit me up talking about I'm not loyal boy bye. Then the next guy I referred to him in my original City Boys post. He's a nice guy and we can laugh and talk and have fun but he was caught up on the drama with his BM. In my younger days I'd be with the shit but at this point I can not. Nor do I wanna deal with him going back and forth between us both. So he's been hitting me up "You out here being happy without me" , "You really won't give me a chance". When I tried though he was still in BM face trying to double dip.....AHT AHT AHT. The thing that frustrates me is I'm up front with all my dudes. I always ask them initially what it is they want and then I speak on what I want. If you not on board what am I supposed to do. I'm moving on and that's that on THAT. Like I said before I'm 26 so y'all should know I'm not dealing with the same shit I dealt with at 19. That's a negative ghostrider. So until further notice I'm gonna keep moving in the directions that make me happy period.

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Protecting My Energy

Good evening babes....this week I was on vacation so I've been slacking just a little bit. Y'alls e-niece had her fifth birthday and in this household birthdays are like a national holiday. Anyways this week I'd like to talk about a new found approach to life I've found. Okay so let me start on how this came about. I had a friend come to me Mother's Day weekend telling me she wanted me to come to her baby shower. Mind you me and this friend aren't in the same area but we talk enough for her to tell me she was pregnant but no sis waited until a month before the baby shower and was like yeah you better be there. So it wasn't just me she kept it from it was pretty much everyone. I didn't understand why she would keep something so big and exciting so private and secretive. So then last month I get a text from another friend and boom she's pregnant and guess what she told me early but that too has been a secret. Like I'm so excited I want to tell the world but her and her husband want it private. Then another friend popped out with boom I'm engaged. So I'm wondering why my friends are on this wave of privacy. I mean deleting social media for long periods of time and just glowing up in private. I see why now. Listen the past couple weeks I've been keeping the deep parts of my life a secret and it's been wonderful. Career wise, school wise, relationship wise, family wise......I mean all of it. It's peaceful. A lot of times we tell things seeking approval or praise and folks don't really care they just wanna be nosey. Then you have those with slick and negative comments, those overstepping their boundaries, those who are judgemental and think they're better than you and those waiting for you to fail. I've been at peace keeping all my shit to myself. For instance I've recently started back up talking to someone that I had drifted away from. I know if I post him or start telling folks it's gonna be opinions from EVERYBODY. He ain't this or he ain't that or y'all don't seem compatible. Or it'll be comments on our arrangements for the time being. Right now though with him being my secret and what we have being between us feels so good. My image of him and his of me aren't tainted by other folks opinion and before it was. I don't know it's like a genuine appreciation of life when you can absorb it for yourself. I just had the conversation with my friends a few weeks ago that when I settle down folks won't know until the wedding photos are posted......PERIOD. Until then y'all getting photos of him cropped out or and emoji over his face so in case we do break up ya'll won't know it. I won't have to hear who he used to mess with or anyone's opinion of him AT ALL. Same thing career wise. Every move I'm making is just for me right now as soon as someone tries to get too nosey oooppp subject change. There's so many changes about to happen in my life but I want that to resonate within me. It's not that I'm ashamed of anything because let's be clear I'm not but I just want love and positive vibes around. I see so many people who have to tell folks everything and I'm like why. I'll say forty percent of the people you tell are genuinely happy. Ten percent don't care. Twenty -five percent waiting on you to crash and burn and the other twenty-five talking about you with their clique of friends. So for me I'll announce my happiness when I'm ready. Until then just know we're good and moves are being made and those that really fuck with me are gonna support me and respect every decision made whether publicly or privately. Peace, Love, and Happiness......Asia J

Friday, July 12, 2019

City Boys Strike Again

*Deep Sigh* Ladies my original post about the City Boys was meant to be a warning. It was meant to let y’all know that this summer we gotta be vigilant and on our toes because they trying to take our spot. So while I’m plotting my revenge thinking I’m about to get us some major points my best friend of all people dropped the ball πŸ—£ MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND. So last night I’m on the phone kind of caked up. My best friend calls. I ignore it because I’m one already on the phone and two it’s after 9 (don’t call me after 9) so she text the group chat. She hates texting so I knew the shit was an emergency. Y’all she done got caught in a Barbara this is Shirley situation and she wasn’t Barbara or Shirley. Pretty much she was πŸ—£ THE SAME GIRL (In my Usher and R Kelly voice). So let me give y’all the back story. My bestie we’ll call her Patricia( to protect the innocent) has been in love with this guy named Michael (protecting the innocent again) since I’ve known her. I used to be a fan but homie is not a good guy. He’s the type that has a charming personality and he’ll do little things to make you smile every now and then but he’s shady and manipulative. For half their relationship he’s been cheating and creeping and on his bullshit. So when she called me a few months back saying she’s linked up with this new dude Tyler I was a fan. Now Tyler isn’t what I’d want her to be in a relationship with he has quite a few kids and he seems very possessive so I told my bestie to keep it cute and fun and to stock up on her Plan B. Bitch ain’t take NONE of my advice. Fast forward to the end of May they damn near in a whole relationship. Well Tyler finds out about Michael and shows us that the City Boys are petty and did not come to play. Instead of just leaving Patricia alone this man stalks Michael whole life finds his pretty adult niece and takes her out. Y’all first of all Tyler is my spirit animal cause on my mama that’s a move right out my book πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ but this is my best friend it’s happening to so he’s a fuck boy. So Tyler’s whole reason of dating the niece is to make sure my best friend finds out because her and the niece are cool. So of course niece does like all women do and brags about the brand new dude in her life to all her close friends and family. Now my friends are savages so when Patricia found out she wasn’t even trippin on homie. She called me and we laughed about it and she told him to do what it do. Well if you’re a petty person and you do some petty shit and don’t get the satisfaction you want that’s just gonna drive you to go harder with the pettiness. I know because again that petty life is me. So homie thought he had the last laught but really that point went to the City Girls because my sis wasn’t even phased πŸ—£PERIOD. Until last night. Y’all tell me why Tyler calls Michael himself to let him know EVERYTHING that’s been going on and homie had receipts. I mean put all my friend business out there. So Michael calls Patricia plays heartbroken and now he done blocked my friend. Tyler proceeds to tell both Patricia and Michael that the last time they had sex he forgot to pull so she might wanna get a plan B. So now my friend done got exposed and now she gotta sit the rest of the season out of she doesn’t make it to Walgreens in the next 12 hours. So another 5 points for the City Boys πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„. It’s alright ladies I promise y’all I been cooking up something that’s about to put us in the lead but when I do I need my City Girls support cause it’s no rules in love and war ❤️😊🀷🏾‍♀️. Peace,Love, and Blessings Asia J

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

A letter to my dad

Today is your 55th birthday. I can just imagine the party in heaven you're having and omg I know you're doing that tired behind funky two step that you mastered my whole life. Anyways I just want to tell the world what my dad means to me. So I know y'all don't believe me but when I was younger I was so shy and self conscience. My best friend was Anthony. Point ,blank, period. He fed my mind with trips to the library every Saturday. While kids my age made fun of me for walking out of the library with stacks of books on the weekends he'd cheer me on like I'd just ran a damn marathon. My friends who think of me as woke umm all that came from him. My knowledge of who I am as a black woman and where me and my ancestors  came from all came from him. I remember listening to lectures from him for hours about OUR history from Marcus Garvey to Louis Farkhan to Elijah Muhammad and every strong black man in between. He was the first person that let me know it's okay to study different religions which led to my 2104 to 2015 exploration of religions (something we'll get into later
). You made me feel beautiful in my dark skin when dark skin was still frowned upon. You praised my natural 4C hair when everyone still called it nappy. When I hear the song Wonderful by India Arie the lyrics only make me think of you. You have touched my soul and you are my hero. Losing you was my toughest battle something I struggle with everyday. Even now as I write this tears well up in my eyes because I miss you so much and ten years without you seems like a lifetime. However, everyday you are in my heart and I know you and God sent me this little girl that looks just like you to keep me pre-occupied. Every day while parenting her I try to emulate our relationship and love with her.I love you and I miss you and I wish you the most wonderful birthday Anthony. Until we meet again King. ❤️

Monday, July 8, 2019

City Boys Summer

Listen ladies.....I know the summer just started but the City Boys are taking over. I thought maybe it was just in the celebrity world with Caresha from the City Girls getting pregnant right before summer. Then Safaree cheated on Erica Mena then Carmelo cheated on our good sis Lala but umm it’s not just them. Even these average everyday dudes out here acting fools sis. Yes I’m talking about the ones that bust in under ten minutes. The ones that need to hold something until payday. The ones who’s hairline start way the fuck back there. Listen y’all I’ve been missing for a couple of days because I literally wiped out my whole starting line up. Yes a bitch had to do a Thanos to her love life until balance is restored to the universe. Now let’s be clear I have hoes. I usually have one dude that I’m intimate with a couple that I date and various that I talk to. As of right now we’re down to zero
I mean a bitch little black book ain’t been this empty since I switched schools in the third and fourth grade. Anyway let me tell you how they all dropped. So D was my star he was my Lebron my gah damn Kawhi this season but you know how you give a lame dude some play and he start feeling himself. I swear this happens ALL the time. They get so shocked that they get the thick chick that pays for dates and has the bomb ass personality you know the one that rides one her toes and gives the sloppy that they forget who needs to be groveling to who. Okay so let me tell y’all what happened with D. So we agreed that at the time being we were just friends since a few month back we had a bad break up. Father’s Day rolls around and he’s honestly a great father so me and my daughter take him out to dinner and get him some gifts cause I knew his baby mama wasn’t gonna do shit for him. So after dinner and the gifts the Meg The Stallion and City Girls in me should’ve went home but a bitch stayed. Y’all the sex he delivered after the break up was not the same sex he was delivering while we was together. I’m talking cat whips, masks, flavored lube and all and then after he done beat it down when I should’ve got up and left I done let the fool cuddle me and hold me all night. So in my mind we back together right. Like we have to be dating because the next morning before he leaves for work he makes breakfast so we absolutely have to be together. So a couple days go by I’m playing it cool haven’t wrote him . Then I text him asking him if he wanted to hang out. Chile tell me why this man talking about he’ll see if he can pencil me in and then proceeds to tell me that he’s not trying to fall in love so limit the sex to once a month if that. Y’all I’m looking at my phone like negro is you serious like are you dead ass. Okay so I blocked him from EVERYTHING cause I’m like first of all sir how you gonna dictate the amount of times we see each other and have sex in order to prevent yourself from catching feelings and you only pull this AFTER you done brought some GRADE A dick πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„.  I think what really tripped me out is homie after we broke up YOU pursued this friendship sex situationship with me. Okay so that gave the City Boys an automatic 3 points cause my little spirit was crushed like weeks later I’m still salty and really the only way I can bounce back is if I sleep with his senior rater 🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️ So I’ve really been debating that for weeks. Okay so let’s move on to the next dude. My homegirl called herself setting me up with her boyfriends friend . Y’all tell me why the man don’t text back unless sex is mentioned. Got drunk and randomly sent me his dick print. Then I was supposed to fly out to see them y’all the man wouldn’t buy my ticket. Lmfao like I am not used to this type of treatment. I don’t know if the mercury retrograde has spun in the men’s favor or if Tristan Thomas and Carmelo Anthony have put roots on the women or if Caresha jinxed us by getting pregnant but City Boys 4 Asia 0. Then to cap it all off this gonna have y’all dying. So I went to Jacksonville a few weeks back to take the man that’s been like a father figure out for his birthday. I met him at his barbershop right. Mind you I sit in the lobby waiting on him to get his haircut. The barber walks out and obviously likes what he sees and asks for my number. Y’all I kid y’all not this man asked me to get a room with him the same night if he took me out on a date. Boy you got me fucked up πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ yo ass tried it. Like I’m telling you it’s a City Boys summer. Then I was talking to this dude and he was really about to be my Lebron for our birthday weekends a couple months back we did a whole getaway. I bought him video games. One day I randomly cash app’d him for a haircut. Now this WHOLE time he been telling me about his psycho baby mama and I’ve been sympathizing with him because I hate bitter baby mamas. Man shit finally comes to a head and the baby mama has RECEIPTS while he been telling me she psycho and won’t let go he been giving her false hope. I mean buying roses and telling her he miss her and all kinds of shit. Needless to say Black Men Don’t Cheat went out the window real gah damn quick. See this year I was tryna play fair and do right but it seems like I need to get back on my bullshit. So it may be City Boys 6 Asia 0 but I promise before the summer over it’ll be Asia 12 🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️ PERIOD!!

Monday, July 1, 2019

Should Women Have More Respect For Ourselves?

Okay so there has been these videos circulating of women proving their ummm sucking abilities. Okay so I am a very sexual being. If you've had more than three conversations with me in a comfortable setting then sex has been mentioned. I'm very pro-feminism and I'm for women doing whatever they want. I'm not the type of girl who's gonna judge you for your 200 bodies unless your 200 bodies are married men. I think that's where my sexual freedom draws the line. However, some of the coolest women you'll meet are comfortable with their sexual being. I've never been caught up on numbers or bodies or no shit like that. Scientifically you can have sex with 50 men and your pussy can still be tight while a girl who's a virgin can feel loose as a goose that's just how the world works. Plus I'm a firm believe in pussy maintenance so your shit can be BAP from just five guys if you ain't yoni steaming and detoxing. However I'm no judge is what I'm saying. I have college educated friends in corporate America out here fucking and I have friends that barely graduated high school that will stick their nose up at you if you say you've been with more than five men. I guess it's life. However I do think there is a line and we shouldn't cross it. It's okay for us as women to be sexy. I love being and feeling sexy. I love buying myself lingerie even when I'm single just to take cute pictures in.......do I post them no......may I send them to my man as a teaser.....HELL YES. I do repost and share sex meme's that describe my mood or what I think is funny. I wear shirts with cleavage, leggings, shorts, and sundresses. This doesn't take away from the fact that I'm a great mother, that I'm educated, I can hold a conversation about a wide damn array of topics, I'm multi-faceted, and spiritual. Something I won't do though is record myself practicing my sexual favors. Yes I pride myself on a few tricks and moves I have in the bedroom but there's somethings we have to leave to these dudes imagination. Even with dressing sexy y'all ain't about to see EVERYTHING you'll see enough to know it's there and you can't touch it. Sammie an R&B singer posted about how we are queens and the slurp girls are making it harder for the good girls. I agree. Ladies we complain about how trash these men are but majority of the time they following our lead. It's okay to be free and fun but don't let these dudes think that we're only their cum dumpsters cause we aren't we're so much more than that. Yes sis slurp the hell out of those penises but in the privacy of your own home and AFTER that man has proven himself worthy not in the middle of the club for entrance in a VIP booth. Just my two cents though. Peace, Love , and Blessings......Asia J.

Six dates and a wedding

So remember when I told y’all I was wilding out after my divorce? Well 2015 to 2017 were some really wild but very fun times in my life. Th...