Wednesday, December 4, 2019

No one is financially responsible for you!!

So I’ve had this discussion with two of my closet friends twice in a two week span and we’ve all had this issue so it’s time we publicly discuss this. The only people in this world that should be financially dependent on another human being is children, terminally ill, and elderly and by elderly I mean 80 and up. Stop making the financial responsible folks in your family (or your group of friends) feel like they need to carry your financial burdens or they need to bail you out due to your mistakes. Now I understand we all fall on hard times and need a hand but if you aren’t actively changing the situation around you then don’t like at your family and friends as selfish because we don’t want to bail you out. Now I need y’all to kick off your little shoes and grab your tea because we really about to dig into this. Okay so here it is another holiday season and I’m starting to turn into little Scrooge.....why because one by one my inbox has been filled with demands of what folks want for Christmas. Yes y’all heard me demands....first of all that’s not what the season is about. I promise you I laid out a list for everyone but if I didn’t get anything but gift cards and bath &body works candles I’d be grateful. The only expensive gifts I expect are from the man I sleep with and whoever I cash app to take Harmony to get what I want πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Other than that I don’t know folks pockets and I’m not greedy. So today I got into it with someone fairly close to me because of this same issue. This person decided they would buy Harmony a gift in exchange for me getting a gift for them they demanded. First of all if y’all out here doing that then that’s low especially to single mother’s. For those of us tackling this parent shit alone the holidays are strenuous because we literally have to make up for both parents so if you offer to get something for my child (while yes I will get you something) don’t demand what it is you get and don’t make it some expensive thing you can’t regularly get for yourself. The only person I’m responsible for spoiling during the holidays is Harmony, my niece, and my man anyone else gives me their list and I’ll see what I can do! This doesn’t just happen on the holidays though it’s daily. If you have money or financially responsible folks feel entitled to your spare change. Y’all don’t know how often I’m asked for money but ask me how often these same people do anything for me or even check on me. When some people call or text I already know what the conversation is about to be and that annoys me. Now I’m not a hard ass I feel for people who fall on hard times and go through things but some of y’all stay in these positions and guilt those around you to help. Don’t think Asia doesn’t have times where I’m like damn. Shoot in 2015 I had a WHOLE year of it. I was around here sick but I promise you I worked my way out of it and I sacrificed. Before I make anyone feel financially responsible for my downfall I’ll find some type of way to hustle so I can pull my weight or hold my own. Y’all have to understand those people in your life that have money or seem fiscally responsible also make sacrifices within their own home and lifestyle and every time you come around with your hand out or your pouting ass face you’re taking away something they work hard for. I used to read in the blogs about all these disgruntled families of celebrities and I’d be thinking “Damn if I ever got on I’d make sure my whole team straight” but now (and I’m not even ON) I can see why because some of y’all want to drain, drain, drain and never damn help yourselves and then when someone tells you no then here comes the guilt trip. I promise you if I say no once I turn into the worst everything and all of what I do is quickly forgotten because of that one no. However if I don’t say no and I end up flat on my ass I promise you no one is coming to my rescue. So this holiday season before y’all think someone “has it” and you want it please think of all the work they put it. Matter of fact don’t just apply that to the season apply that to every damn day. Before y’all throw your financial burdens or you expensive wishes on someone please think of how many hours they worked, how long they went to school, all their side hustles. and all their training and certifications and then think of all the bills they may have paid and any other unexpected expenses then think of them wanting to save and now after all of that think to yourself  with their spare change do they really wanna give it to you. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and Happy Holidays!!

Sunday, November 10, 2019

I’m not friendly

So unless you live under a rock or have 0 social media then I’m sure you’ve heard about Alexia Crawford. If you haven’t I’ll explain. She was a 21 year old senior at Clark Atlanta University. She was murdered by her roommate/friend and the roommate’s boyfriend. She went missing the day before Halloween and the roommate putting up posts and helping search like she didn’t just help kill that girl. Anyways since I was little I’ve been closed off....I have a few friends now but they’ve been vetted and I mean vetted. I’ve always been told I’m the mean friend who doesn’t like people and that’s no lie. A lot of my friends (no offense) are way too friendly for me. They wanna accept and have fun with everyone. Me I’m not on that and this story is exactly why. Folks are fake and dangerous af. One of the first things my father told me is to trust no one. Y’all have to be careful out here. That partying with everyone and letting everyone feed you drinks is dead af to me. “ASIA she’s cool let her come out with us” πŸ—£NOPE. I’m telling you like y’all don’t understand how protective of myself I am cause it’s a lot more fake and fraudulent shot going on than real shit. Especially when it comes to females and make mixing. Alexis was ultimately killed because her roommate’s boyfriend was sexually assaulting and possibly raped her. Instead of the roommate dumping her boyfriend she acted like most of y’all (Silly over trash ass niggas) and stuck by her trifling boyfriend. I’m sure it was his idea to murder her so he could beat a rape charge and her ass already being a jealous smut fell for it. So naw I’m good on being friendly.  Every time I’ve been extra friendly to females that seemed a little off that shit has backfired. Y’all gotta stop letting everyone in your aura and thinking everyone is solid. Drink and laugh with a female two times and y’all feel like y’all best friend ESPECIALLY in the Army whole time she’s sleeping with your husband. I’m telling y’all every male or female I claim as a best friend I’ve at least had one or two disagreements with to see how they move afterwards. Not only that but I don’t want any “YES MEN” as friends.....those friends that agree with everything you do or say yep I’m telling you now fake af. They agree to your face and go right behind your back and dawg you out. Men let me tell ya y’all probably have the fakest friendships cause y’all be so scared to check y’all brothers so instead you either talk shit about him or be in his girl DMs. Don’t disagree with me because I have receipts from 2015 to prove my theory.  Basically what I’m saying y’all is protect yourselves. Everyone isn’t meant to have close access to you and everyone isn’t your friends. One of my closest friends I used to argue with everyday but on everything she’s one of the realest females I know. She’ll tell me when I’m dead ass wrong and if anything is said about me she’ll have my back and FaceTime me so you can say it to my face. I’ve had fake friends so I already know from a ten minute conversation what category I’ll put you in. I had a best friend (or so I thought) that knew my husband was cheating on me chile she sat at a table with me looking shocked as I cried. Me and her had one disagreement and sis put all my business out on Facebook and the disagreement was me trying to protect her....that’s the real gag. Another story....I had a friend well I thought of her more as a little sister. She was a people pleaser....you know the type of folks that wanna be friends with everybody and will do anything to fit in. Anyways we worked together and I knew how she was but I loved her and was so over protective of her. I left the shop because in the Army we swap out like every year or so. No shop is gonna be completely the same for years and years. Anyways I left thinking that’s still my sis but as soon as she needed clout with the new crew best believe she talked shit about her days ones. Dead ass I call back to the office and some chick on the phone laughing saying she’s heard about me πŸ€”πŸ€” heard what. That’s when my other friend calls me telling me what she’s heard through the grapevine. I mean homegirl pulled up my records to show these folks for some clout. This is exactly why I am the way I am. I had a girl I was friend with in Korea who slept with a dude I talked to not even a full month after I left. Naw these hoes are not to be trusted especially easily. I don’t have folks in my home, I don’t drink around big crowds, I drive my own car.  . Like shit seems sweet but it’s not and it’s more people praying on your downfall than your come up. Your name is in more negative conversations than positive one even within your so called friendships. Anyways Rest In Peace to Alexis Crawford. I was praying for a better outcome and praying she’d be okay but now I’m praying for her soul and praying her family gets justice. 

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Patience is a Virtue

Good Afternoon love bugs, today we’re gonna discuss patience. I know for myself I absolutely have none. I want everything to happen right then and right now and no I don’t wanna wait. So over the past few weeks I’ve really been talking to God. I’ve been praying day and night, I’ve whipped out my sage and incense, and I’ve just been trying to manifest in the things that I want. Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting discouraged because sometimes I don’t see my dreams and prayers coming into form. However today in my Sunday afternoon bubble bath I recapped things going on in my life and God is moving. So Asia is no pastor but I do believe in God and I do believe sometimes he puts us in situations and storms to be able to share with our people. It’s been multiple people who have stepped to me asking questions or just expressing themselves because God gave me this platform to relate and be there for y’all. So as I’m in the tub thinking I’m like damn I gotta put this in the blog. I had been praying over the podcast and whether or not I should do it or if I was ready. Now I don’t know if any of you have ever read the book The Alchemist but please do. I meant to write a blog on it but I never got around to it. Anyways part of the book is encouraging this young man to chase his dream and multiple times in the book they reference that if something is your personal legend then the universe will align for you to reach it no matter what obstacles you’re going through. So there was a day that I was beating myself up and I’m like naw I can’t do this podcast. When I tell y’all out of the blue an associate not even a close friend but associate hit me up like “Girl when is the podcast coming out?”. Then later that night I spoke to a young woman I was building a friendship with and mentioned the podcast and she was like oh you have the tone and the demeanor to run a podcast. So then a couple days go by and it’s still weighing on me and honestly it’s just the fear of failure but we all know that fear will definitely make you change your mind. Anyways my cousin who I spoke to about the podcast slides in my inbox with definite plans. This was big for me because even though we spoke on it I wasn’t sure how serious he was but yeah he was dead ass. So those were signs for me that I’m doing the right things and despite my fears and doubts God is making this happen and he’s pushing it forward. Okay so another thing I had been praying for is my love life. Listen I never tell every detail of my love life cause baby that changes daily. However I spoke to God about something very specific. When I spoke to him I said lord just give me a sign and put me in the right position of what I should do. Friday I went to see my therapist and don’t yall know everything God wanted me to hear he put in that man’s mouth. It was literally almost as if I had butt dialed my therapist while praying. Then that same not God put me in position for something else like damn magic. So if you’re out there feeling discouraged or feeling like things aren’t moving your way please pay attention to the signs and please remain steadfast and patient because our season is coming and everything we prayed for is being manifested as we speak!! Love y’all ❤️

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Self-Care

Good morning my loves.....Happy Sunday....I would usually be depressed  because I hate Sundays but I have tomorrow off and I get a new puppy today annndddd I get to go home and watch Power so it’s lit. However we will not be celebrating Columbus Day 🀧 if y’all want the woke blog on that just comment below or slide in my DMs cause my real friends know how I get this blog can go from India Arie to 1982 Angela Davis real gah damn quick. Anyways for the past two weeks I was having migraines on top of migraines and then back pains and feeling sluggish and disgusting however this weekend I felt great. I can attribute that to the fact that I just saw one of my best friends for the first time in a year and we really had a fun time not to mention I had my forever PIC Harmony with me. Anyways this morning as I’m in this comfortable hotel bed I realize my next mini vacation isn’t until November so does this mean I get to spend the next three weeks with a migraine. Naw we ain’t doing that so I decided to impose a self care challenge on myself. I’ve invited people on social media to do it so it’ll be a collective group trying to get better. At the end of the 30 days I’ll blog about my experience before and after and those who participated. Also if you’d like to join please comment below or slide in my DMs or reach out to me via social media or email. Anyways the stipulations are
1. Celibacy (this includes toys and masturbation)
2. Read a book of your choice for at least 30 minutes every night
3.Workout for at least 30 minutes 5 days a week
4. No fast food or friend foods
5. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day
6.Do something special for yourself each week (This could be grabbing your favorite cup of coffee, a mani/pedi, going out for drinks, the spa, going to the beach.....just anything that’s a stress reliever and can put a smile on your face.

I’m expecting great results from this and I really need to detoxify my spirit right now so I’m super excited. We’ll be starting tomorrow and I hope all of my love bugs join.

Saturday, October 12, 2019

I’m not relaxing shit

Damn y’all I honestly had no intentions of posting a blog today. I’m actually out in Orlando reuniting with one of my best friends and having a small getaway. Anyways I just woke up at 6 am from a nightmare and I woke up with this topic heavy on my heart. So let’s get into it. A couple weeks ago I was talking to a dude in my DMs (also s very good friend) and we were discussing relationship standards and I told him at this point in my like I want what I want and I’m not settling so he said something to the effect of don’t be too harsh and miss out on your blessing. I texted back yeah yeah but then I really sat there and thought about it and said fuck all that especially when it comes to dating men. Now when I say standards I’m not talking about I’m over here demanding a man who makes six figures or only drives foreign or no shit like that. Although I do appreciate men who spoil me I also have been doing for myself for awhile now so I got it covered. Plus you can’t expect those things from someone if you don’t have them. That goes for men too cause some of y’all get on social media and drag women for their appearance and forget that at the age of 26 your nose still runs, you still have bad acne, you can’t dress, and your dick little. So it trips me out when y’all describe these perfect women like she’d skip past all Tyson Beckfords in the world and come lay with yo dusty ashy ass. Anyways though when I say standards I mean emotionally. I noticed in this new generation men ride the “I’m hurt” wave to escape stepping up to the plate and being emotionally and mentally accountable in relationships. Like a nigga will be so hurt from the past but somehow those trash ass dicks work but I’m just saying. Ladies hold these men accountable and if you run into a man who can’t give you what you need bounce. I’m not a huge Evelyn Lozada fan but something she said stuck out to me “I know what I bring to the table so I’m not afraid to eat alone”. Check it out y’all let me tell you why emotionally and mentally i have standards that I will not relax. At the age of 18 I was sexually assaulted and later raped. I got the choice to say no taken from me because a man felt that his sexual urges overpowered my freedom to wear what I want and be free, he saw boobs and a butt and knew he had to have it no matter if I said no or stop. I got married at the age of 20 and got straight into cater mode. I got pregnant which was one of the most beautiful and difficult experiences I’ve ever had. During that pregnancy I was very depressed and scared. During that same pregnancy my husband cheated on me not once but twice. I wanted to leave but I was terrified of first what everyone would say about my perfect marriage falling apart and two I never dreamed of being a single mother. I remember going to this Pentecostal church crying dead ass crying about my marriage and one of the mothers in the church told me divorce was not an option. At this same time I’m occasionally getting slapped around or verbally abused. I remember one night our argument got so bad he told me I’d be a horrible mother and I wasn’t worth shit....I got slapped too but he brought home roses and I was young and didn’t know what my standards were so I stayed. I had my beautiful daughter and fell into post partum depression. My body changed completely my hormones were everywhere and all of a sudden I was responsible for this human. Harmony actually wasn’t a hard baby though just fat. I would say a month after giving birth I found out my husband cheated yet again . At a moment where I felt my most vulnerable my stomach was big and saggy I had stretch marks I never had before my boobs were leaking and I was getting cheated on.  Through the course of that marriage I got guns pulled on me I got hit on in public parking lots just all types of crazy shit. Fast forward to a couple relationships in the future. I started dating this guy he had several mental issues you know PTSD, Depression, and things of that nature. I know how it feels to be in those positions so I took upon myself to spoil and cater to him. Anything he want he got. I was getting off of work heading to his place cleaning, constantly bringing dinner. Oh you want your dick sucked oh let me do that right now. You want to fuck even though I’m tired naw it’s okay mount up. Still got cheated on. So check this out when I tell a man I want romance, I want honesty, I want effective communication, and so on I’m not relaxing a motherfucking thing. IDGAF. Cause if I acted like what I’d been through  I be the City Girls on ten. So ladies and damaged men too if y’all keep hearing folks tell y’all they can’t live up to your standards cut sling load. It’s 2019 and just like y’all call the City Girls our for scamming dudes physically when y’all purposely walk around pretending you can’t cater to your significant others emotional and mental needs you’re scamming them emotionally. It’s 2019 we’ve all been hurt and we’ve all been through some deep dark shit but y’all gotta stop using that as excuses to why you can’t step up and be a decent human being to people you love or fuck with. We complain about dating in this generation but refuse to hold ourselves accountable as to why it’s fucked up. Everyone walking on egg shells on some “I’ve been hurt so I’m gonna be this tough until you prove me wrong” naw that’s not how it works. Also you can’t negotiate normal relationship needs because you’re lazy or selfish. It’s really men out here like “I don’t cheat but I suck at communicating so I may not talk to you for a week or so” no sweetie that’s not a fair trade that’s like you asking me for 2K20 and I come home with Street Hoops 97 like well I still bought you a game. Naw that shit ain’t cool and it’s a lot of y’all with the game fucked up both men and women. However if you’re one of the few that know what you have to offer and know that you need your standards met take this time to heal and enjoy life. I look at my friends and happy and healthy relationships and I’m legit happy for them but I’m also extremely comfortable in my single season. I take myself out and I spoil myself. I’ve learned to be intimate with myself I use my alone time to pray over myself and better myself so when that person who can meet my standards comes I’m the best version of myself I can give. Anyways I gotta get dressed to go get coffee....Love y’all ❤️

Monday, October 7, 2019

Productive Communication

Y’all first let me apologize for being out of the loop for the past couple weeks. I have a lot going on both good and bad and that’s been occupying my time. However I’d like to let y’all know that the podcast is coming ☺️☺️☺️. The premier date is proposed for Thanksgiving as of right now and I’m so excited to get started. It’s a lot of prep work and money that goes into it otherwise that shit would be up today. However if you would like to support the podcast you can donate through cashapp at $AsiaJ93 and in the subject line make sure you put its for the podcast. Also I’ll be putting out branded merchandise soon so save some coins to get y’all some merch. So anyways yesterday I was about to rip this guy I like a new one like I was really about to tear into him annnndddd a bitch was wrong. Yes although Asia is rarely wrong when I'm wrong I will admit it. So initially I was about to tear into him about our communication he’s not much of a talker and not one to express his feelings but y’all know me I’m very open and I love to interact through speaking. I was wrong though really wrong. So the issue was communication and I initially was putting all the blame on him but I'm about to say something I know will be used against me later. As women we have to listen and we also have to be in tune with our partners. Yes majority of the time we aren't getting fed emotionally or mentally by our partners but we can be so caught up on what we're not getting that we forget our partners need it too and they don’t necessarily need it the same way or in the same fashion. With that being said he had things going on that I had never fathomed because I was caught up on my men ain't shit platform. I think in this generation where couples get it wrong is that we're selfish. We want to love in our terms instead of our partners. Although in a lot of instances me and this man are alike when it comes to love and relationships we are very different and we’ve had very different experiences. So it's been a transition trying to get to know him and what he liked because I'm so used to dealing with things in my own terms instead of his. However, I apologized to him and we're on the right path as of now. I just wanted to put that out there though. So ladies before you completely go off on the deep end have that talk and communicate and realize that communicating includes active listening. Our partners deal with shit just like us except in men especially black men they don't often get that type of love and sympathy so they typically hold everything inside and hide. We not doing this in 2020 though.....I'm about to introduce him to something completely different. I'm not about to be one of those women who takes takes takes no sir. We talking about feelings and emotions. We sharing deep dark secrets and insecurities. We're speaking life into each other and motivating each other. Anyways my loves I gotta go but I just wanted to get that out. Love y'all!!

Monday, September 16, 2019

Worst Sexual Encounter

Hey my loves ❤️so the votes are in on what my next topic should be and you all (nasty asses) voted on my worst sexual experience. There was a few I could’ve threw in here but I narrowed it down to two so if your story isn’t in here be lucky. Okay so the first one was a few years back and y’all I feel bad because this experience was so bad I ended up cheating πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©. Technically it was my friends fault because they encouraged me to stay even after I detailed this experience. Okay so this was fresh off my separation from my ex-husband and it had been a hot little minute since I had any. I met this dude I worked with and he was really cool. We started off as friends but he shot his relationship shot and I was lonely and depressed so I was like let’s do this. Okay so he’s at my house Harmony ended up spending the night with her nanny so I’m like yep this shit is going down. We we’re watch the babadook on Netflix on July 5,2015 yep I remember the gah damn day that’s how upset it made me. Okay so we’re sitting there and he’s rubbing my little fat thigh and we start kissing. So I take it a step further and hop in his lap straddling him to get a deeper kiss in. Now mind you this is during the time me and my ex-husband are separating so my self-esteem and confidence is hella low. Anyways while I’m straddling him I don’t feel his dick so now I’m like damn I must be ugly or I’m fat or my breath stinks or something cause that straddle always gets the men hard. So he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. So he asks me if I can suck him off. So I’m like okay I’ve known him the required amount of time and he’s taken me on the necessary amount of dates to get this treatment. Y’all I pulled down his pants and couldn’t believe my eyes. Homie had been hard the whole time he just had a little Vienna sausage and I’m not exaggerating like I have a little brother who’s diapers I had to change and they were in a tight race. So then I’m like damn I really like this dude and I’d feel so shallow breaking things off because of his size. So I’m pep talking myself like okay I can do this. Y’all then I get immediately mad because it feels like a peppermint in my mouth. So I give him a good two minutes before I’m annoyed cause he’s doing all this moaning and I can’t do none of my little tricks cause I’m scared I’m gonna swallow it whole. So I’m like okay just get on top. I honestly felt the tiniest insertion like usually my little face scrunches up and I give that deep sigh but nope. Then he keeps slipping in and out every time he tries to stroke so at this point I’m livid. So I push him off cause I’m like Tokyo Toni at this point πŸ—£I’M READY TO GET THE FUCK.....ASAP AFTER THIS SHIT. He suggests that we flip over and he try it from the back πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’sir you were drowning from the front and couldn’t stay in and you think you’re gonna survive behind all this ass πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„. Pause* now fellas please stop dating us females with asses bigger than ya granny’s old school tv in her living room. Like he’s been the smallest but he’s not the only small one that’s tried. & I don’t care what y’all say while the motion in the ocean does matter y’all ain’t about to let some small ass sailboat in you when you craving a yacht. Anyways so after I’m mad as hell he talking about I must be tired that’s why I don’t wanna finish....biiiiittttccchhhh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ At this point I needed him gone. Needless to say that was our first and last time having sex and I ended up cheating on him with someone who was at least six inches and paid bills πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Okay for the second one it was the worst for two reasons. Before I start if you’re a guy that’s uncircumcised please understand that while you clean yourself off on top of the skin you still gotta pull that thang back and clean under. Now me and this dude were cool. One night he came over and gave me some of the best head. I wasn’t interested in having sec with him so when he pulled his pants down I rolled over and started snoring. However not before I noticed he was packing a nice bit. So around the third time of him giving me head I’m like fuck it let’s do this. One minute and forty-five seconds later we were done. A bitch didn’t get the chance to get a little rhythm with her hips or switch positions. So after he done wasted my time I’m like just go. Like if you know you coming over to visit the super soaker tight grip 3000 then you gotta rub the first one out on the top way πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„like can a bitch get at least ten minutes. That wasn’t the worst part though. So I’m super sentive down there and I can’t have sex with sweaty penis, after work penis, stink penis or anything of that nature. Like when I hear about other females in the Army having sex in the field or in Connex’s where it’s stank and muggy, or ports potty’s πŸ€§πŸ€§πŸ€§I be thinking πŸ—£you dirty bitches. Anyways I told him to shower before he shows up at my door cause I don’t like dirty dick. Well I thought all uncircumcised men knew it takes a little bit more to get cleaned up. Apparently he didn’t know. The next morning I wake up boom a yeast infection. I mean listen I HATE yeast infections because all day you walking around itching like fuck and you can’t scratch and when you do you damn near gonna scrape your skin off. Then what made it even ten times worse is I didn’t have my detox pearls and I ran out of my yoni steam so then I gotta settle for using the chemical shit that burns. Never in my life had I ever caught a yeast infection from sex. Shit I didn’t think he was in there long enough to throw my PH balance off but πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„I was wrong. Before y’all ask yes it was a yeast infection I get checked before and after any new partners. But yeah those are my two worst sexual encounters πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Don’t ask me who cause I’m not gonna do them like that even though EVERYONE knows who the first one is πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Monday, September 9, 2019

DragCon NYC 2019

So my big weekend in New York is over my loves. First of let me start off by saying this was literally THE best weekend I’ve had this year and probably that I’ve had in a few years. First the week started off horrible. My college professor pissed me off being anal and incorrect and then further trying to prove a point when she was wrong. Y’all I just want this Bachelors degree and to be out cause honestly although I love learning I hate school. Next Hurricane Dorian came through with his slow and indecisive ass so my week was pretty much thrown for a loop because everything was revolving around his appearance. Through all the canceled and rescheduled flights and the one tree branch that fell in front of my car.....n***a we made it πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. So last the tea that’s brewing is....Asia is now single. Now y’all don’t start flipping out and overreacting it’s fine. As y’all embark on this journey with me we will hop in and out of relationships. I say WE because when y’all read this blog we are one and y’all who support me are family so WE. Anyways yeah I’m going through a breakup I haven’t cried or put on my Keyshia Cole and K Michelle playlist so I think I’m good. Before y’all flood me with messages no I don’t wanna talk about it and when I’m ready I will. However, you would think that would throw off my whole mood but I still found a way to be excited AF about my trip. Anyways the purpose of my trip was to attend DragCon 2019 in NYC. Those of you who aren’t familiar it’s like the ComicCon for Drag Queens put together by the SUPREME Mama RuPaul herself. I have always been a slight fan of RuPaul since her appearance in my favorite movie “Crooklyn” I can quote her line to this day “Unt Unh I ain’t no Puta I keeps my πŸ±clean” anyways after meeting my bff Mike he turned me into a super fan of RuPauls show DragRace. As I got more into the show I got more into individual queens and of course Mama Ru herself. Being bffs with Mike has thrown me into the LGBT πŸ³️‍🌈community because he’s a proud gay man and he’s not my only friend I have plenty of them who I love and support dearly. Anyways I’ll dig deeper into that as I describe my weekend. So Friday because my plane was delayed we get there late. Mind you this is my first real time in New York...I’d been once before but that was in passing and that’s another story for Tea time...listen New York is a different type of city but I honestly dig it. We get to the convention center and the first person I run into is TS Madison...obviously you know her from vine videos and the Queens Court the original!! She was so sweet and soft as hell might I add..I really didn’t want to let her go at all. Anyways she was a doll and a great way to start off the weekend. Friday was pretty much us meeting various queens and walking around. Until we went to the comedy show where I really laughed my ass off. Listen so much happened in that panel that eventually made me and Harmony DragCon famous for a weekend πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚it was good though. Saturday was the busy day. We started the day off watching the Queens walk down the runway and if you follow me on snap you saw me screaming and fangirling like I was 10. After that the most amazing thing happened. RuPaul popped up and did a DJ set and we were allowed to jump on stage and dance for him while he watched. It was amazing to me because one the crowd was so warm and fun and open and for two RuPaul said he loved Harmony and I blew him a kiss and he blew one back. See how dudes be acting over Lebron and MJ is how I feel about Mama Ru so πŸ€·πŸΎ‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️it was a big deal to me. Not only that but then I met a few of my favorite Queens and ended up getting a few autographs and laughs in the mix. I ended the day being a complete tourist and taking photos in Times Square which,  by the way is crowded as hell and no one in New York walks slow. Also driving two blocks is like a 15 minute ride because the traffic is just as bad as it seems in the movies. It was beautiful though. I love being in areas that are bigger than I am and just soaking up energy. We ended the night having some New York style pizza at this quaint Ninja Turtles inspired pizzeria. Sunday my last day was no difference, I danced my big ass off for Ru. Harmony had to give Ru two dances and one of the famous queens danced with her on stage along with two strangers who just loved her. I met a young boy who is gay. Before y’all get on here like “kids don’t know what their sexuality is or what they like” think back to your first little notes in school or your boyfriend or girlfriend. I knew I was attracted to boys in 3rd grade so miss me with the bullshit. What inspired me though was his mother. I could tell she was there on behalf of her son and that probably prior to him she had no affiliation with the community but baby she supported the fuck out of her son. I ended up chatting with her as she did his makeup and sat through one of the panels and that shit touched me. A lot of gays in the community feel empty from abandonment of their family because we feel like we as a people (especially the black community) have to judge homosexuality so harsh and we claim it’s on behalf of religion and I’m not trying to get to deep but in my spirit I know that GOD does not hate Love and I doubt that in the afterlife he’s sending people to hell because they fell in Love. I know that’s what organized religion says but it says a lot of things and at the end of the day I’d never turn my nose up at love. Quick anecdote here...a couple years ago one of my older cousins died. When she died we found out she had a girlfriend. My family was so unaccepting of it that instead of comforting the grieving girlfriend we either ignored it or gossiped about it which leads me to believe that this is why my cousin didn’t come out. Just imagine though having to hide such a big part of your life because of judgement and shame. Anyways the mother there really inspired me as a parent. Harmony is too young to really grasp sexuality beyond what she’s told but I feel like if I were ever in that position that mother is who I want to be. After that I met TODRICK Hall who I adore and is so handsome and just FYI smells delicious, followed by more queens and a selfie with Ross Matthews and Carson Kressley...yes I’m still gagging. The last event of the day was the panel with Ru and Whoopi Goldberg. We literally had to wait in line two hours prior to get good seats. During the panel though they gave so much inspiration. See I went to DragCon to meet my favorite queens and gag over looks and have fun but in all of that it was so many lessons. From the panels, to Ru, to the drag queens reading kids stories, to the small business vendors, and all. DragCon supported being you the you that makes you comfortable. Loving yourself in all forms and no matter what the judgement. In the building it was mad (see my New York slang) love I danced with strangers I’ll probably never see again. Shared snacks and phone charges, took pictures and belted our terrible renditions of our favorite songs. We shared stories of where we came from and why we were there. I even met people that I think I will form friendships with. I think that’s why my weekend was so great and why everything that happened before just melted away. I was really unapologetically being ASIA. That’s what I want to do out of life. I literally didn’t have one sip of alcohol, I didn’t do any drugs, I wasn’t in the club but I literally had one of the best times of my life. That’s what living your best life is l. When you don’t need anything but love and good vibes to have an amazing time. When just hopping on a plane and getting away can ease your mind. So that’s me and Harmony for the rest of our lives. Traveling going to places filled with love and spreading that same love. This weekend left me with a different kind of high and I was here for it. Also let me know some topics you would want me to speak on or questions you want me to answer on the blog!!Love y’all ❤️❤️

Monday, August 26, 2019

Vindicated

Whew chile it’s been a rough five years dealing with Harmony’s father but today I was vindicated. So for those of you that don’t know me and Harmony’s father divorced when she was a little over one. We’ve been estranged since she was about 8 to 10 months. A day after our divorce was finalized he married his mistress who is partially to blame for our divorce. I say partially cause honestly it was so so much going on that one day I’ll tell in its entirety. Anyways when we were together I’d say my ex-husband was a good father. Now he wasn’t jumping out of the bed to do feedings or nothing but he was present and he loved Harmony. That all changed after him and his mistress became one. As we divorced even though we hated each other we agreed that on the behalf of Harmony we’d co-parent and do right by her. That never happened. Unfortunately Harmony hasn’t seen her father since her first birthday. They talk twice a year and he recently started sending her gifts for Christmas and her Birthday. It’s hard y’all like no cap being a single mother is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. For those of you who personally know me I probably walk around strong and tough as hell. Little do y’all know there’s nights where I cry myself to sleep. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional just a lot. Motherhood especially single and doing it on your own is 24/7. There’s no sick days, ain’t nobody out here babysitting for free, ain’t nobody cashapping me for the extra-curricular activities, the clothes she either grows out of or rips, the field trips, the salon trips, or vacations. However I do this...y’all can say whatever about me but y’all can’t say I don’t rock this mom thing and put Harmony first. Anyways for Harmony’s Birthday in July her Paternal Grandmother sent her a gift. That was a first for me so being the bigger person I called her to tell her thank you. We spoke and she apologized on missing out on the first five years of Harmony’s life and promised she wanted to make some changes. Listen I’m all for mending fences and growth so I was with it. So over the weeks since then I’ve been sending her photos and videos of Harmony. I’ve told her about Harmony’s personality and little milestones in her life. We’ve just really been building a relationship. So I called her tonight so Harmony could tell her how school was going welll after she spoke with Harmony she wanted to talk to me. Pause. This is God because y’all know that scripture Psalms 7:8 The LORD judges the peoples; Vindicate me, O LORD, according to my righteousness and my integrity that is in me. That’s exactly what happened. I’ve been over here getting myself together and really trying to better myself and the lord is really turning things over in my favor. Anyways she gets on the phone and apologizes. See for years the father of my child and his mistress...I mean wife have went around saying that I was so bitter because I wanted him πŸ™„ and that I kept Harmony from him. Even with all my little receipts 🧾 the folks in his corner always thought it was me. Until now. Apparently Harmony’s grandmother has been trying to get in contact with me for years. She’s been trying to heal the disconnect between myself and Harmony’s father for years but someone *cough,cough* mistress err I mean wife had been working against it. Isn’t that crazy? Imagine being the type of woman who doesn’t want you to be around your flesh and blood because she feels threatened. Didn’t want my ex to get her gifts, didn’t want his mother to get her gifts. His mother told me she figured this out because when they reconnected after a year of not talking she kept asking about Harmony and he had no answers. πŸ—£STILL DON’T. His mother got on to him and said everything that I’ve been saying. She asked him how could he be this amazing stepfather and then neglect the child that came from him (excuse me I just got up to do a praise break and speak in tongues) she also told him she wouldn’t do for his other child (conceived during my marriage 🀧) and stepchild until he started working towards a better relationship with Harmony. So now the wife is mad because his mother is mentioning Harmony and asking for Harmony and saying me and him need to communicate meanwhile she’s pulling a Bambi (love and hip hop reference) saying if it isn’t broke don’t fix it.See this might not mean much to y’all but for years I’ve had to deal with the back and forth so to finally hear someone in his corner telling him what it is and sticking up for ME (opp another praise break....I’m shouting so hard my church mother wig about to come off) . See what men don’t know is just how it’s bitter baby mama’s it can be bitter wives. Out of his mothers mouth she spoke on how the new wife doesn’t want him around Harmony because she’s scared that how she got him is the same way she’s gonna lose him. Sweetie let that man step up to the plate for his child because I can promise you I don’t want him. Sis you’d be crazy to think I’m gonna give up what I have now to run back to him. Plus she been knew the real 🀧🀧 but that’s another story for another time.All this time it’s been Asia is bitter but I’m glad people can see that it isn’t me. However shout out to his mom because I held hatred for the whole family because he was neglecting Harmony but y’all she’s trying. Harmony has now spoken to her grandmother more in the past two months than she has to her dad in the past year. She’s calling, she’s texting, and she’s set up a date to meet. So we’ll see. I’m glad she’s gained another set of grandparents but I’m also glad that the truth is coming out. Love y’all ❤️

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Sisterhood

So I had no intention on posting a blog today. I’ve actually been waiting to post a blog about a book I’m reading...however, when God speaks to you.....LISTEN. So a girl I went to high school with started this group. Basically it’s a group of women who commit to a fast to better themselves and connect with God. We did one first before and this is our second go round. This second time we seem to be more engaged with each other and with that we have a weekly conference call. Tonight was the very first call and I honestly feel like my spirit and soul have been fed. One of the topics we spoke on tonight is why sisterhoods basically don’t exist. We all came up with a variety of reasons which got me to thinking. Women have strayed further and further from our cores and from loving and protecting each other. A lot of friendships out there are surface. We base friendships off of who’s gonna turn up with us...who’s our common enemy...who we think is cute...who we think might be on our level. Or we constantly think that we’re in some sort of competition when we all can win. We talk about each other, we judge each other, or we’re jealous of each other. Honestly think about your friendships right now. When is the last time you called to check up on your friend? When is the last time you lit some sage and incense and prayed on their behalf? When is the last time you sat around a group of women and poured your heart out and got the support you needed and unconditional love?We’re usually used to the let’s got clubbing or let’s go grab drinks or ggggiiirrrrllll did you hear about so and so....type friendships. As women individually we are so powerful but if we came together and supported each other we’d literally be unstoppable. I challenge you all to form a deeper connection with those that you refer to as friends. It’s so many women out here who need a solid good sisterhood. Reach out to your sisters and see what’s really going on with them. Not just the surface issues but the things they’re embarrassed or ashamed to speak on. When you’re seeking these sisterhoods be genuine about it too. When you hear of your girl’s struggle instead of repeating their downfalls, help them work through it. With everything going on in the world today you need a solid circle to really have your back. So that’s the goal for this week for me. I honestly want to create bonds that are deeply rooted and involved. This group is the first step to that. It had been awhile since I had been on the phone just having genuine conversations about each other. No gossiping about so and so or talking down on anyone I feel beneath me but honestly speaking on growth and uplifting. So my love bugs as we go into a new week I encourage you all to really build deeper connections within you group of friends that form into a sisterhood. Randomly make one of your prayer sessions about a friend. Do a sweet gesture towards a friend. Take them out to lunch. Babysit their kid so they can have some me time. Come over and help them clean or make dinner. Set up a gym or spa date. Just do something to let them know that you’re here and that you value them and want to uplift them. Love y’all ❤️

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Did Jay-Z sell out?

So unless you’ve been living under a rock I’m sure you’ve heard the news that Jay-Z has partnered up with the NFL.  His partnership has been met with the black community calling him a sell out because if y’all remember Kapernick was blacked balled by the NFL for initiating the kneeling protest. In case you didn’t know the protest was in response to the influx of unarmed African Americans being murdered by cops during what should be routine stops. So I myself stood for  what Kap was doing. I was tired of hearing about my unarmed brothers and sisters being apprehended and killed off rip because of our skin tone. Kap succeeded in his message because even though he pissed hella conservative white folks off, his protest open the door to the discussion of how African Americans are treated in this country. Now unpopular opinion but I feel like Jay-Z made the right move and let me tell you why. As I’ve said before we need more representation out there for us. If we want our kids to receive the same and better education we need black teachers teaching in our neighborhoods. If we want to stop getting murdered because our tail-light is out then we need more black cops patrolling our neighborhoods and so on. I’ve always said in order to make any changes we need to put our people in these positions of power. So I don’t blame Jay-Z at all. How are we gonna make change in the NFL if we don’t have a seat at the table? I mean think about it we work for the NFL but we don’t have anyone at the top. Name all the NFL team owners. Name other black artists that partner with the NFL or black companies. Y’all looking at this as a sell out but I’m looking like this is an opportunity for my people. Jay-Z just put himself in a position to speak on behalf of our community. If you think Jay-Z doesn’t care about this community then you’re sleep. For the past few years he’s really been about his people. His wife was the first black artist to promote part of our culture at Coachella which is one of the whitest festivals ever. I mean sis represented HBCUs to the fullest had Becky in the crowd shook because they never heard soul like that. Never seen a black band and black majorettes. My daughter watched it and listen she gets hype every time we rewatch it. Y’all if we want to make change in their world we gotta go above these protests and take action. Y’all mad at Jay-Z for signing with the NFL but name a small black business you promote outside of your family? Name black owned restaurants in your community? When is the last time you gave back to the black community? Volunteered your time to our youth? So get off y’all soapboxes because I know for a fact Jay-Z about to ride for us with this new position. Love y’all ❤️

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Promote Education

Hey babes. It's been a hectic couple of weeks. I know across the south maybe everywhere that school is back in session. This is my first time having a school aged baby and whew chile it's a transition. So first of all shout out to all the parents who were hustling and shuffling trying to get everything right for the little ones. All the pictures of these amazing kids on their first day of school is making my heart warm because after all they are our future and they just look so adorable. With that being said this year I encourage all the parents out there to take an active role in your child's education. If you don't know I'm here to tell you that the government could give two craps about our kids and how they turn out. Hence how Betsy DeVos became the U.S. Secretary of education with absolutely no background in public education or little to no interest in better the public school system. A few weeks before school started I met this beautiful intelligent woman in the hair salon who gave me the run down about public schools. Not only was she a teacher but she has her masters in education and is raising three gifted children of her own. She gave me the ins and outs of schools and how our kids (especially black and brown) get treated if their parents aren't a fighting force behind their education. For instance standardized testing has been proven to be biased and isn't actually mandatory so if you've held your child back because they failed the states standardized testing you're actually holding back your child's progress. She explained to me how they handle children with different situations all the same. We like to label children as bad but are the bad or in distress. I made a vow that as soon as Harmony hit that school ground I would put her education above all else. Why? Because every generation is supposed to be last. I've done okay for myself but some of the issues or struggles I faced Harmony won't. I want her to know that getting her education and excelling at it is not an option. Everyday since she's come home from school we've been studying. I sit at the table with her and make her trace over words over and over until I know her hands are tired then next we're going over counting, and so on and so forth. Please don't depend on your child's sole education coming from the classroom because the government doesn't value educators anymore so educators look at teaching like a job. I went to school with plenty of men that I felt like were lowkey smart but they weren't getting that support and push from at home so they came to school acting out and guess what the teachers don't get paid enough to care so they don't and if I'm only making 25K to 30K a year I'm gonna have that same energy. So with that being said please force education and the importance of it on these babies. All the Nike shoes and Gucci belts and Bundles don't mean shit if we have these genius kids and we aren't pushing them to their full potential.It's hard but as parents this is what we signed up for and if you look at your baby in the face and don't want them to succeed then you should give that baby to someone who really cares. Yeah it means longer nights for you or sitting at the table frustrated shouting "IF TIMMY HAD THREE APPLES" but when they become something great it'll be worth it. I don't know what Harmony will be when she grows up but I know she'll be educated because from K through College I'm forcing that down her throat. So I'm praying for each and every child going to school this year and I'm speaking into existence that this generation will come so much harder than the last. We're producing doctors, lawyers, teachers, scientists, moguls, CEOs ,CFOs, writers, and so much more. Love y'all!

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Prep Work

Good Morning babes.....so it’s Sunday here and I’m doing my usual. I’m getting up to clean and do laundry (not fold), prep for the work week, prep Harmony for the school week, pack lunches and make dinner....ya know typical mom shit. Anyways I was thinking about progression. Often times we want something to take off immediately. I know that’s my vibe. I want everything to fall in place off rip and if it doesn’t then my ass got a whole attitude but today I want to give some encouraging words. For the rest of 2019 prep your life for what you want in 2020. In 2018 I walked into 2019 like “I want, I want, I want” and I did absolutely no prepping. However last night I was laying in bed already thinking of what 2020 brings and how I can prepare for it. By the end of 2020 I want to be finishing up my book, I want my credit score to be in the 800s (🀞🏾 THATS GONNA NEED A LOT OF MAN POWER) , I want to figure out where I’ll be settling down and finally buy my dream home and I want to be in a stable and committed relationship that’s constantly moving forward. What’s different from this year than last year is that we’ve been prepping. This time I know that the things that I want to achieve have to be manifested and the seed has to be planted and nurtured way in advance before I automatically think so shit is about to pop off. I’ve started the rough draft for my book and where I want it to go and the vibe I want it to have. I’ve been doing some serious budgeting and following all these credit advice tips to get my shit back poppin (word of advice ladies no matter how in love you are don’t let a nigga put shit in your name not even a piece of gum). I’ve just really been out here planting the seeds that I want to blossom in 2020 and I encourage you all to do the same. Self care and evaluation should be at an all time high. In these next few months make it about YOU and creating new goals and accomplishments. We should always be moving forward. That’s my Sunday tip and I’m praying for the success of each and everyone of you. I hope that whatever it is you want in 2020 you prep for it now and it blossoms into exactly what you wanted. In the meantime I’ll be over here in extra grind mode because I have like three different projects I’m trying to get poppin not to mention the man I’m oh so smitten over will be home at the beginning of the year and this is out opportunity to really take things to the next level. I slid that in there to let y’all know y’all might have a new e-niece or nephew in 2020 πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.  Love y’all ❤️

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

A bit of FB drama πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄

Okay so if you’re friends with me on Facebook you probably saw or heard about the drama on my page yesterday. However, if you missed it here I am today with the back story and my summary of how everything played out. Okay so I’m friends with this dude really good friends we tried a little romantic thing and had a little getaway months ago but umm it didn’t work out.....for various reasons. Anyways we still remained cool, actually we were pretty close I mean talking everyday and texting throughout the day. Discussing all types of different topics just real best friend type shit. He wanted more but it just really wasn’t in the cards but our vibe was really deep for real. Anyways let me get to how the drama started. So his baby mama doesn’t like me. She doesn’t like anyone female associated with him so before she ever met me I was always bitches and hoes and sluts. Yeah she’s one of those. So anyone who knows me knows I’m petty. On this part I will admit I was wrong I did address her first but it was honestly to have a real woman to woman conversation with her because the shit she does is next level bitter and I honestly don’t want to see other women go out like that plus as me and him talked everyday I got well acquainted with his son and I really got attached to him, so I hated that their toxic relationship was spilling over into him. So around July 4th we had our first altercation that was over pretty quickly after she tried to threaten me and I let her know baby you’d be better off slapping ya mama wig off than ever putting your hands on me. So fast forward to yesterday he sends me screenshots of her again calling me out my name. Not only that but she was upset I made a post about bitter baby mama’s on my blog (I guess the shoe fit πŸ₯΄). So me being my petty self I simply thanked her for viewing the blog because y’all know I appreciate and cherish every single view, like, and share. Well that fired her up so we go at it again. Now she says I bullied her son mind you I’ve only talked to him on the phone and we always have great interactions so she had me confused with some other woman. She’s still going off trying to diss me so y’all know me I got jokes and clapbacks for days. Well I guess my digs were too much for her because she took it upon herself to take a dig at my child. Yes five year old Harmony. Yes y’all e-niece. Yes the little girl that I’ll smile in my mugshot behind. Now this chick is in Florida so I can’t touch her but I’m fuming. Anyone who knows me knows I’m sensitive about my baby, I’m her first and only line of defense it’s just us so I’ll go to war with the whole damn world about that one. So I’m the type of person that you shouldn’t beef with because when I get turnt up I have no chill. My friend once described my actions to a group of folks and would basically say I’m a bear and when you tap a bear you don’t know what kind of reaction you’re gonna get but it won’t end well πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. I’m known for dragging people and if I can’t with my hands I definitely will with my words. So I took it upon myself to show my whole Facebook who she was and tell them how she came for my child. She’s not very pretty. The picture I chose her makeup was horrid. She was wearing this cheap knock off fashion nova wannabe outfit and it didn’t make her look flattering. She had rolls popping out her crop top . Y’all know my friends had a field day with that one. Do I regret what I did no 🀷🏾‍♀️. I lost a friend from it because the father was upset. He’s terrified of her and she walks all over him and disrespects him but that’s not me and if you come for a child you get what’s coming to you every time and if I was in a hour radius of her I would’ve been outside her job sitting on the hood of my waiting until the end of her shift to bounce her head off the pavement. Yeah it sucks to lose a friend but like I told him I’m gonna go hard for my child and if he’s my friend instead of being terrified of her he’d get his shit together and start correcting her because it’s folks out here that will (Nipsey Hussle voice) test yo jaw about their respect. Anyways after me and my ex-friend went at it I let him know I couldn’t rock with him cause condoning that or sticking up for that is flaw to me especially when I defend him all the time when she telling the world he’s a deadbeat but in the end I think this was a lesson that everyone ain’t as solid or tough as me cause y’all know me wrong is wrong period and if you wrong I’m gonna let you get what you deserve shit ain’t no Captain Save A Hoe over here. However at the end of the day I wish the child in their situation the best because no one deserves to grow up in a toxic situation at all. I also wish my ex-friend the best but umm as for the female she’ll forever be on my shit list and if I see her well....y’all know 🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Baby Mama Drama

I’m a single mother. Not by choice. I don’t think anyone wants to be a single parent. There are some single mothers who are really out there struggling. Really out there dealing with deadbeats. Carrying most or all of the weight on their backs. Then their are a lot of y’all bitches that are just bitter. Yeah I said it. I love my ladies. I sympathize with my ladies but I am gonna keep it real with y’all and tell y’all when y’all are being cunts. So check it ladies these men may not want us they may do us wrong they may diss us but that does not take away from how they feel about their children. We have to stop using children as pawns in toxic relationships against our children’s father. If you’ve made a child with a man and he’s actively trying and he wants to be in that mans life then let him please let him. It’s a lot of us women who can’t relate and wish we had that. I’m just getting to the point where Harmony’s dad is actually sending her a gift for her birthday and saying maybe he’ll come spend time with her (fingers crossed). Y’all have men who are buying gifts and clothes or spending what they can and begging for quality time and y’all are withholding that over personal grudges because he broke your heart. While you aren’t realizing you’re hurting your child more than anything. I know so many men that yes they suck in relationships but they are bomb as fathers and they are going through it because the mothers are bitter and hurt over a heartbreak. Let that hurt go sis. When I was a child my mother did and said a lot of petty things to cause a rift in between me and my father and at the end of the day in all honesty it made me look at her differently. I even discuss it in therapy to this day.....yep 26 years later. So while you’re upset cause this man doesn’t want you in all actuality you’re building a childhood that you’re child is gonna have to heal from. You’re becoming a toxic parent yourself. I have a homeboy right now and him and his baby mother recently split. Since their split she’s made his life hell. I wrote this blog today off the strength of him because the past few months things have only gotten worse and I see him trying but she’s so bitter. I mean sis pulls up to his house vandalizing his shit. She sends him death threats. She uses their child as a pawn. Now though she’s doing these things in front on the child and we all can see it’s affecting the child. So I want to reach out to all my fellow sisters to tell y’all this isn’t the move. If he broke your heart let that hurt go. Moving through his child is not the way it works. Creating tension in a broken home is not what you want. I divorced my ex-husband because I had to for my safety and livelihood. I desperately wanted him and my daughter to still have a relationship but that wasn’t in his plans but as a genuine single mother y’all don’t want this life sis don’t push away the other parent over heartbreak. Doing everything alone isn’t easy. Handling all the bills, paying for alone time, helping with homework, having to handle all parent teacher conferences and extra curricular’s by yourself, all the sick days, the nightmares, this real single parent shit ain’t easy so if you have a parent that wants to be there drop that hurt and move on. That man doesn’t have to be with you to be there for his child!! & to all the men dealing with these type of women I apologize because children aren’t pawns and you have just as much rights as the mother. We need to do better by our children!!

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Patience is a virtue ❤️

Anyone who knows me knows I lack patience. I think that’s a generational thing. We see things or we  think of things and we want it now like right now. For the past few months that’s been my life. If things haven’t been going my way I quit or give up because I’m frustrated and I think damn if it isn’t happening now then it’ll never happen. For instance career wise something was suppose to happen and it wasn’t moving fast enough and myself along with everyone around me was like “well damn if it hasn’t taken off yet then it isn’t taking off at all....but God....whole time I’m over here doing the absolute most about why my shit ain’t moving as fast as everyone else’s it’s because folks were really out here looking out for me. See sometimes we forget slow and steady wins the race.  Yesterday while I’m discussing my situation with the person over it all he’s laying out the whole plan for me and I feel stupid cause had I rushed I could’ve missed out on hella coins and opportunities. Then I think back to two years ago when I first started my blog on blogspot. I remember I felt like I wasn’t getting enough views so I quit. No first few weeks in this and my views are steadily rising and it’s not just the views but y’all actually vibe with me like the feedback and the love is overwhelming and I love it. I just want to let y’all know that if you feel like something isn’t moving fast enough for you don’t stress. If you didn’t get that job you applied for, if you didn’t get approved for that car or that house, or whatever it is you’re going for. Be patient man. People are gonna question if moves are being made in your life and you don’t have to answer to ANYONE. I don’t tell anyone anything anymore I just prepare myself for this season of upcoming blessings shit everyone will see it when it gets here. Even with my love life. I tried to rush it with one situation and God was over here planting seeds in a situation I wasn’t even focused on. So patience baby. I promise everything you’re stressed about, everything you’re giving yourself a hard time about is already being worked out. Take your time.

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Therapy!

So I know there is this negative stigma about going to therapy and mental illnesses. However, I really feel like it's beneficial to go to therapy for everyone ESPECIALLY those of us in the African American community. After an amazing therapy session with my therapist yesterday I figured I would share how therapy has helped me and hopefully encourage those who have issues to really seek a therapist and really get some healing. Now don't get it twisted when you go to therapy you need to be honest and transparent. I know some folks who go to therapy and still have nasty  attitudes and horrible spirits because they go in and play the victim. That once was me to be honest. However, everyone else is not always the problem. Sometimes you can be your own worse enemy. In this passage I'm really about to admit somethings that I've never publicly came out and said but I know a lot of women and men  who struggle with these issues and like I said before I'm really just trying to spread some light and encourage healing. So growing up in the South whenever we have an issue we're told go to church and try Jesus. I'm telling y'all  now to stop spreading that message. I do believe in God and a higher power but there's more to getting out of your struggles than going to church and praying. We still have to be proactive. Think of it like this would you go to church and just pray for your rent to get paid or are you gonna actually go to work and get money to pay your rent. Most likely the latter and you're gonna pray to maintain that job or obtain a better financial blessing in the midst of it. So around 2015 my marriage was ending. During my marriage I suffered A LOT. I went through physical abuse, infidelity, emotional abuse, and shit financial strains as well. Following my southern upbringing I thought going to church and praying would fix all that. It didn't and that eventually led to me and my ex-husband to a divorce. The church I went to condemned  me for it. They were nice people but their answer to my marital struggles were to stay and pray it out. Even after they looked at me different for now being a single mom.....so obviously that offered me no solace. Towards the ending of my marriage my ex-husband and I had a terrible physical altercation. Usually he would but hands on me. Either he would leave or I would, flowers would be bought or some type of romantic dinner would be planned. This time though it went above and beyond and both me and my neighbors called the cops. We got in a heated argument, which led to him putting his hands on me, which led to him putting a loaded gun to my head.....with my child in my arms. The reason he did this was because after the fight this time I decided to leave for good. I called one of my closest friends and told him me and Harmony were coming to crash on his couch. He told me come on so I packed my shit and tried to leave. Hearing the commotion the neighbors called 911 and as he was walking back and forth putting the gun to my head and then removing it to pace back and forth I had the opportunity to dial 911. The police came and he ended up arrested. Because he was in the military and a child was involved they immediately enrolled us in a family advocacy program so they could thoroughly investigate the situation and I could speak out. First of all at 21 I was a gah damn idiot because I dropped the charges and forgave him but that's a story for another day. However when I spoke to everyone involved in the FAP program they suggested I go to therapy. That's how I met my first therapist. Ms. MF'n TAMMI. Listen I owe this woman my life if it weren't for her I wouldn't be sitting here right now. After that situation I found out my ex-husband also had another child on the way and I had suffered a miscarriage. After that I was pretty much done. In those therapy sessions Tammi gave me the strength to leave. All this shit I'm spilling to y'all has never really been told before and the only person I could share this with was Tammi. She was my therapist from 2015 until about 2017. I saw her every two weeks for about an hour and a half. She told me when I was wrong when I was being stupid she made me look deeper withing myself and address issues I never thought affected me like PTSD, my sex assault, my chronic depression. I was still angry and held so much resentment but with each session I felt lighter and lighter. During that dark year I would be at work smiling and laughing being seemingly normal but would come home and could do nothing. All while having a daughter under the age of one.   It would be nights when I wanted to kill myself and I'd have to call Tammi at home to talk me off a ledge. Tammi encouraged me to be fearless and sis was the one who told me to go into my hoe phase and let loose and have fun. When I spoke to members of my family I got crazy backlash and opinions but therapy works. Nothing addresses your issues like an unbiased expert. I was a young 20 something black female from the south, Tammi was an 50 something white lady from the pacific northwest yet she helped me beyond what I can even describe. The next time I got with a therapist was October 2018. I had just got here to Georgia and this place was stressing me out lord. The vibe and the people here were just different. Washington nor Korea hit like this place. Not only that but I was dealing with hitting the ground running after just literally watching my stepfather die on Facetime that summer and my daughters separation anxiety from me being in Korea for a year. I was overwhelmed getting back into the swing of things. Mr. Brooks is another angel. Yet again someone who is nothing like me. He's a middle aged white man who's big on Christianity. Yet he makes me see these positive reinforcements I can make in my life everyday. Yesterday he mentioned to me how much growth he's seen in me since we first started. He was the one who made me took a hard look at myself and see that I'm not a victim. Since being his patient my whole peaceful transition has been thanks to him. So yeah y'all need to send him a Christmas card cause a lot of y'all got saved from a nice cussing out and ass whooping cause of him. If y'all notice my usual snappy tongue the tongue that has made grown men cry has been replaced with me leaving toxic situations in order to maintain my peace. Lately I've been in this zen state and to even further that my therapist put me on to books and podcasts relating and further explaining what I'm going through and all my many different transitions. So yes my loves I am all for Therapy and I encourage everyone to go. Stop thinking that running to an alter and having someone put their hand on your head is gonna miraculously cure your issues within yourself (not saying church is bad so y'all don't get offended) and for my Army folks especially stop getting off every weekend and getting sloppy and pissy drunk to solve your problems or pretend shit is easy. Get real help and really reinvent yourself I promise you that's the way and like I said before when you're in therapy please don't go in as a victim really take the time to see yourself and your issues from all aspects because we all have something toxic within us and the only way to rid it is by addressing it. Love you all.......Asia J.

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Make up your mind

Whew chile either the male species has gotten softer or the Mercury Retrograde hitting y'all hard. It was a City Boy summer but I'm gonna say the City Boys are dropping points real quick. So remember when I told y'all about D and how he wanted to live his best life.......well as I predicted he wants that old thang back and not just him all my old hoes. I don't know what it is but when I'm happy and content all my old hoes and exes come out of the black hole they sunk into and all of a sudden wanna make things right. See Asia is the type of girl that will cry and be sad for about a week and then after that it's a wrap on to the next. I'm 26 so I'm not chasing anyone or going back and forth or waiting on anyone to give me what I deserve. Ladies after 21 we gotta hold these men/women to higher standards and if they can't meet them then it's time to bounce. Now before a man jumps on here trying to come for me any man I've dated will tell you that everything I require I reciprocate. I pay for dates, I send my man money for his cut or to get his ride washed, I provide great sex, no I'm not asking you to pay my bills or take care of my daughter, and yes I have goals and ambition. So when I require these things just know it's because I'm bringing that same energy to the table. Anyways yesterday on my blog I posted about a new dude I'm talking to. He's honestly not new he's been around but our communication with each other is off and on ESPECIALLY with him being so far away. When he's around though it's a different story. I don't want to sound cheesy or corny but I feel a different type of peace and comfort and the best part about it is we started off like damn Helga and Hey Arnold (if you don't know those references google). I mean I was a complete ass to him and he'll tell you he thought I was bitch. Anywho y'all get that full story if we ever become official official. Anyways my point is when I move on I'm not looking back or sweating no old shit. I hadn't talk to D in weeks and the others probably months and I had no intention to. So D clearly read my blog because his passive aggressive ass deleted our joint Amazon wish list. I mean honestly I didn't care cause this wish list was made back in December since then I've gotten all that shit. The only reason I even knew he deleted it was because he opted for amazon to send me an email notifying me. Dead ass this is what I'm dealing with. Then he got one of his little workers to text me to "check on me" and let me know how I hurt her boss. Mind you I told D what I wanted and what I expected when we had her falling out he let me know that he couldn't provide that at this time. So what do I do move on. If the roles were reversed he'd have Becky with the good hair in the passenger seat of his truck. Fellas if you tell us you can't reciprocate or provide us with what we want we're allowed to move on. I've seen females in the same toxic nasty relationships for years trying to be patient and wait on their relationship come up. Naw boss not me.SO then this other guy right. He's currently deployed. For a few months we hit it hard talking and he wanted to commit so I'm like okay let's do this. Homeboy disappeared for almost a month. His excuse he didn't have service bbbuuutttt homie was posting snaps of him rapping to songs he didn't know the words to. Sir I was born at night not last night. So when he pops back up I'm doing me. Now in his opinion I'm not loyal or solid. Tf. I must be hard as hell or you females dense because in order for these dudes to try this with me it must've worked on y'all. Being with me is like a regular place of employment NO CALL NO SHOW then you have been terminated. So for him to even have the audacity to hit me up talking about I'm not loyal boy bye. Then the next guy I referred to him in my original City Boys post. He's a nice guy and we can laugh and talk and have fun but he was caught up on the drama with his BM. In my younger days I'd be with the shit but at this point I can not. Nor do I wanna deal with him going back and forth between us both. So he's been hitting me up "You out here being happy without me" , "You really won't give me a chance". When I tried though he was still in BM face trying to double dip.....AHT AHT AHT. The thing that frustrates me is I'm up front with all my dudes. I always ask them initially what it is they want and then I speak on what I want. If you not on board what am I supposed to do. I'm moving on and that's that on THAT. Like I said before I'm 26 so y'all should know I'm not dealing with the same shit I dealt with at 19. That's a negative ghostrider. So until further notice I'm gonna keep moving in the directions that make me happy period.

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Protecting My Energy

Good evening babes....this week I was on vacation so I've been slacking just a little bit. Y'alls e-niece had her fifth birthday and in this household birthdays are like a national holiday. Anyways this week I'd like to talk about a new found approach to life I've found. Okay so let me start on how this came about. I had a friend come to me Mother's Day weekend telling me she wanted me to come to her baby shower. Mind you me and this friend aren't in the same area but we talk enough for her to tell me she was pregnant but no sis waited until a month before the baby shower and was like yeah you better be there. So it wasn't just me she kept it from it was pretty much everyone. I didn't understand why she would keep something so big and exciting so private and secretive. So then last month I get a text from another friend and boom she's pregnant and guess what she told me early but that too has been a secret. Like I'm so excited I want to tell the world but her and her husband want it private. Then another friend popped out with boom I'm engaged. So I'm wondering why my friends are on this wave of privacy. I mean deleting social media for long periods of time and just glowing up in private. I see why now. Listen the past couple weeks I've been keeping the deep parts of my life a secret and it's been wonderful. Career wise, school wise, relationship wise, family wise......I mean all of it. It's peaceful. A lot of times we tell things seeking approval or praise and folks don't really care they just wanna be nosey. Then you have those with slick and negative comments, those overstepping their boundaries, those who are judgemental and think they're better than you and those waiting for you to fail. I've been at peace keeping all my shit to myself. For instance I've recently started back up talking to someone that I had drifted away from. I know if I post him or start telling folks it's gonna be opinions from EVERYBODY. He ain't this or he ain't that or y'all don't seem compatible. Or it'll be comments on our arrangements for the time being. Right now though with him being my secret and what we have being between us feels so good. My image of him and his of me aren't tainted by other folks opinion and before it was. I don't know it's like a genuine appreciation of life when you can absorb it for yourself. I just had the conversation with my friends a few weeks ago that when I settle down folks won't know until the wedding photos are posted......PERIOD. Until then y'all getting photos of him cropped out or and emoji over his face so in case we do break up ya'll won't know it. I won't have to hear who he used to mess with or anyone's opinion of him AT ALL. Same thing career wise. Every move I'm making is just for me right now as soon as someone tries to get too nosey oooppp subject change. There's so many changes about to happen in my life but I want that to resonate within me. It's not that I'm ashamed of anything because let's be clear I'm not but I just want love and positive vibes around. I see so many people who have to tell folks everything and I'm like why. I'll say forty percent of the people you tell are genuinely happy. Ten percent don't care. Twenty -five percent waiting on you to crash and burn and the other twenty-five talking about you with their clique of friends. So for me I'll announce my happiness when I'm ready. Until then just know we're good and moves are being made and those that really fuck with me are gonna support me and respect every decision made whether publicly or privately. Peace, Love, and Happiness......Asia J

Friday, July 12, 2019

City Boys Strike Again

*Deep Sigh* Ladies my original post about the City Boys was meant to be a warning. It was meant to let y’all know that this summer we gotta be vigilant and on our toes because they trying to take our spot. So while I’m plotting my revenge thinking I’m about to get us some major points my best friend of all people dropped the ball πŸ—£ MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND. So last night I’m on the phone kind of caked up. My best friend calls. I ignore it because I’m one already on the phone and two it’s after 9 (don’t call me after 9) so she text the group chat. She hates texting so I knew the shit was an emergency. Y’all she done got caught in a Barbara this is Shirley situation and she wasn’t Barbara or Shirley. Pretty much she was πŸ—£ THE SAME GIRL (In my Usher and R Kelly voice). So let me give y’all the back story. My bestie we’ll call her Patricia( to protect the innocent) has been in love with this guy named Michael (protecting the innocent again) since I’ve known her. I used to be a fan but homie is not a good guy. He’s the type that has a charming personality and he’ll do little things to make you smile every now and then but he’s shady and manipulative. For half their relationship he’s been cheating and creeping and on his bullshit. So when she called me a few months back saying she’s linked up with this new dude Tyler I was a fan. Now Tyler isn’t what I’d want her to be in a relationship with he has quite a few kids and he seems very possessive so I told my bestie to keep it cute and fun and to stock up on her Plan B. Bitch ain’t take NONE of my advice. Fast forward to the end of May they damn near in a whole relationship. Well Tyler finds out about Michael and shows us that the City Boys are petty and did not come to play. Instead of just leaving Patricia alone this man stalks Michael whole life finds his pretty adult niece and takes her out. Y’all first of all Tyler is my spirit animal cause on my mama that’s a move right out my book πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ but this is my best friend it’s happening to so he’s a fuck boy. So Tyler’s whole reason of dating the niece is to make sure my best friend finds out because her and the niece are cool. So of course niece does like all women do and brags about the brand new dude in her life to all her close friends and family. Now my friends are savages so when Patricia found out she wasn’t even trippin on homie. She called me and we laughed about it and she told him to do what it do. Well if you’re a petty person and you do some petty shit and don’t get the satisfaction you want that’s just gonna drive you to go harder with the pettiness. I know because again that petty life is me. So homie thought he had the last laught but really that point went to the City Girls because my sis wasn’t even phased πŸ—£PERIOD. Until last night. Y’all tell me why Tyler calls Michael himself to let him know EVERYTHING that’s been going on and homie had receipts. I mean put all my friend business out there. So Michael calls Patricia plays heartbroken and now he done blocked my friend. Tyler proceeds to tell both Patricia and Michael that the last time they had sex he forgot to pull so she might wanna get a plan B. So now my friend done got exposed and now she gotta sit the rest of the season out of she doesn’t make it to Walgreens in the next 12 hours. So another 5 points for the City Boys πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„. It’s alright ladies I promise y’all I been cooking up something that’s about to put us in the lead but when I do I need my City Girls support cause it’s no rules in love and war ❤️😊🀷🏾‍♀️. Peace,Love, and Blessings Asia J

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

A letter to my dad

Today is your 55th birthday. I can just imagine the party in heaven you're having and omg I know you're doing that tired behind funky two step that you mastered my whole life. Anyways I just want to tell the world what my dad means to me. So I know y'all don't believe me but when I was younger I was so shy and self conscience. My best friend was Anthony. Point ,blank, period. He fed my mind with trips to the library every Saturday. While kids my age made fun of me for walking out of the library with stacks of books on the weekends he'd cheer me on like I'd just ran a damn marathon. My friends who think of me as woke umm all that came from him. My knowledge of who I am as a black woman and where me and my ancestors  came from all came from him. I remember listening to lectures from him for hours about OUR history from Marcus Garvey to Louis Farkhan to Elijah Muhammad and every strong black man in between. He was the first person that let me know it's okay to study different religions which led to my 2104 to 2015 exploration of religions (something we'll get into later
). You made me feel beautiful in my dark skin when dark skin was still frowned upon. You praised my natural 4C hair when everyone still called it nappy. When I hear the song Wonderful by India Arie the lyrics only make me think of you. You have touched my soul and you are my hero. Losing you was my toughest battle something I struggle with everyday. Even now as I write this tears well up in my eyes because I miss you so much and ten years without you seems like a lifetime. However, everyday you are in my heart and I know you and God sent me this little girl that looks just like you to keep me pre-occupied. Every day while parenting her I try to emulate our relationship and love with her.I love you and I miss you and I wish you the most wonderful birthday Anthony. Until we meet again King. ❤️

Monday, July 8, 2019

City Boys Summer

Listen ladies.....I know the summer just started but the City Boys are taking over. I thought maybe it was just in the celebrity world with Caresha from the City Girls getting pregnant right before summer. Then Safaree cheated on Erica Mena then Carmelo cheated on our good sis Lala but umm it’s not just them. Even these average everyday dudes out here acting fools sis. Yes I’m talking about the ones that bust in under ten minutes. The ones that need to hold something until payday. The ones who’s hairline start way the fuck back there. Listen y’all I’ve been missing for a couple of days because I literally wiped out my whole starting line up. Yes a bitch had to do a Thanos to her love life until balance is restored to the universe. Now let’s be clear I have hoes. I usually have one dude that I’m intimate with a couple that I date and various that I talk to. As of right now we’re down to zero
I mean a bitch little black book ain’t been this empty since I switched schools in the third and fourth grade. Anyway let me tell you how they all dropped. So D was my star he was my Lebron my gah damn Kawhi this season but you know how you give a lame dude some play and he start feeling himself. I swear this happens ALL the time. They get so shocked that they get the thick chick that pays for dates and has the bomb ass personality you know the one that rides one her toes and gives the sloppy that they forget who needs to be groveling to who. Okay so let me tell y’all what happened with D. So we agreed that at the time being we were just friends since a few month back we had a bad break up. Father’s Day rolls around and he’s honestly a great father so me and my daughter take him out to dinner and get him some gifts cause I knew his baby mama wasn’t gonna do shit for him. So after dinner and the gifts the Meg The Stallion and City Girls in me should’ve went home but a bitch stayed. Y’all the sex he delivered after the break up was not the same sex he was delivering while we was together. I’m talking cat whips, masks, flavored lube and all and then after he done beat it down when I should’ve got up and left I done let the fool cuddle me and hold me all night. So in my mind we back together right. Like we have to be dating because the next morning before he leaves for work he makes breakfast so we absolutely have to be together. So a couple days go by I’m playing it cool haven’t wrote him . Then I text him asking him if he wanted to hang out. Chile tell me why this man talking about he’ll see if he can pencil me in and then proceeds to tell me that he’s not trying to fall in love so limit the sex to once a month if that. Y’all I’m looking at my phone like negro is you serious like are you dead ass. Okay so I blocked him from EVERYTHING cause I’m like first of all sir how you gonna dictate the amount of times we see each other and have sex in order to prevent yourself from catching feelings and you only pull this AFTER you done brought some GRADE A dick πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„.  I think what really tripped me out is homie after we broke up YOU pursued this friendship sex situationship with me. Okay so that gave the City Boys an automatic 3 points cause my little spirit was crushed like weeks later I’m still salty and really the only way I can bounce back is if I sleep with his senior rater 🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️ So I’ve really been debating that for weeks. Okay so let’s move on to the next dude. My homegirl called herself setting me up with her boyfriends friend . Y’all tell me why the man don’t text back unless sex is mentioned. Got drunk and randomly sent me his dick print. Then I was supposed to fly out to see them y’all the man wouldn’t buy my ticket. Lmfao like I am not used to this type of treatment. I don’t know if the mercury retrograde has spun in the men’s favor or if Tristan Thomas and Carmelo Anthony have put roots on the women or if Caresha jinxed us by getting pregnant but City Boys 4 Asia 0. Then to cap it all off this gonna have y’all dying. So I went to Jacksonville a few weeks back to take the man that’s been like a father figure out for his birthday. I met him at his barbershop right. Mind you I sit in the lobby waiting on him to get his haircut. The barber walks out and obviously likes what he sees and asks for my number. Y’all I kid y’all not this man asked me to get a room with him the same night if he took me out on a date. Boy you got me fucked up πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ yo ass tried it. Like I’m telling you it’s a City Boys summer. Then I was talking to this dude and he was really about to be my Lebron for our birthday weekends a couple months back we did a whole getaway. I bought him video games. One day I randomly cash app’d him for a haircut. Now this WHOLE time he been telling me about his psycho baby mama and I’ve been sympathizing with him because I hate bitter baby mamas. Man shit finally comes to a head and the baby mama has RECEIPTS while he been telling me she psycho and won’t let go he been giving her false hope. I mean buying roses and telling her he miss her and all kinds of shit. Needless to say Black Men Don’t Cheat went out the window real gah damn quick. See this year I was tryna play fair and do right but it seems like I need to get back on my bullshit. So it may be City Boys 6 Asia 0 but I promise before the summer over it’ll be Asia 12 🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️🀷🏾‍♀️ PERIOD!!

Monday, July 1, 2019

Should Women Have More Respect For Ourselves?

Okay so there has been these videos circulating of women proving their ummm sucking abilities. Okay so I am a very sexual being. If you've had more than three conversations with me in a comfortable setting then sex has been mentioned. I'm very pro-feminism and I'm for women doing whatever they want. I'm not the type of girl who's gonna judge you for your 200 bodies unless your 200 bodies are married men. I think that's where my sexual freedom draws the line. However, some of the coolest women you'll meet are comfortable with their sexual being. I've never been caught up on numbers or bodies or no shit like that. Scientifically you can have sex with 50 men and your pussy can still be tight while a girl who's a virgin can feel loose as a goose that's just how the world works. Plus I'm a firm believe in pussy maintenance so your shit can be BAP from just five guys if you ain't yoni steaming and detoxing. However I'm no judge is what I'm saying. I have college educated friends in corporate America out here fucking and I have friends that barely graduated high school that will stick their nose up at you if you say you've been with more than five men. I guess it's life. However I do think there is a line and we shouldn't cross it. It's okay for us as women to be sexy. I love being and feeling sexy. I love buying myself lingerie even when I'm single just to take cute pictures in.......do I post them no......may I send them to my man as a teaser.....HELL YES. I do repost and share sex meme's that describe my mood or what I think is funny. I wear shirts with cleavage, leggings, shorts, and sundresses. This doesn't take away from the fact that I'm a great mother, that I'm educated, I can hold a conversation about a wide damn array of topics, I'm multi-faceted, and spiritual. Something I won't do though is record myself practicing my sexual favors. Yes I pride myself on a few tricks and moves I have in the bedroom but there's somethings we have to leave to these dudes imagination. Even with dressing sexy y'all ain't about to see EVERYTHING you'll see enough to know it's there and you can't touch it. Sammie an R&B singer posted about how we are queens and the slurp girls are making it harder for the good girls. I agree. Ladies we complain about how trash these men are but majority of the time they following our lead. It's okay to be free and fun but don't let these dudes think that we're only their cum dumpsters cause we aren't we're so much more than that. Yes sis slurp the hell out of those penises but in the privacy of your own home and AFTER that man has proven himself worthy not in the middle of the club for entrance in a VIP booth. Just my two cents though. Peace, Love , and Blessings......Asia J.

Six dates and a wedding

So remember when I told y’all I was wilding out after my divorce? Well 2015 to 2017 were some really wild but very fun times in my life. Th...