So remember when I told y’all I was wilding out after my divorce? Well 2015 to 2017 were some really wild but very fun times in my life. This is about to be one of those stories. So a new soldier came into our office right. Little cocky PFC with a cocky group of friends he had. Well y’all know me and my mouth so for the longest me and one of his little friends had a whole cat and mouse thing going. I would tell him how he couldn’t handle me and I’d never let his young ass even sniff my drawers and then he’d tell me he’d wear me out and have me sprung. Now at the time I was ummm keeping company with another man but we were frequently on and off. At this moment we were off or maybe we were on and I just have no fucks but eventually after cat and mouse for weeks the young bull asked me out on a date. So my coworker (his little BFF) swore up and down that he’d smash on the first date and have me sprung. So before we even went on date one I let him know he can’t even come to my house until six dates. So for our first date homie took me to the movies and dinner. Vibe was nice af because we both were kind of the same people. Both cocky, witty, and goofy so the whole night we just playing and laughing. So I’m thinking the night over until my coworker hit him up like why don’t we double date and go to breakfast . Dead ass we went to breakfast the next morning so dude is like okay this is date two. So I’m like fine because I knew his little cheap broke ass couldn’t make it to six. This was a time in my life where I was very high maintenance and very shallow. For me to even be entertaining him was shocking. Anyways we go to breakfast and again have a great time so then these nights like well let’s go do laser tagging. So dude is like yep date three. I love laser tagging and all things free so I said let’s do it. Then we went to dinner again. The next morning breakfast and that afternoon go carts and dinner again. So he technically made it to his six dates but I was stuck up so I still sent his ass home. Well his friend (my coworker) called me and told me I was being cold hearted and mean so I was like what the hell I’m horny anyways so I called him back. Sex was actually pretty decent. After we had sex he was practically at my place everyday. If he wasn’t at my place I was all in his barracks room. I’m talking quickies during lunch. Quickies in the shower after PT.....all dat. Now let me back track real quick with an anecdote. So homie had a baby I think the little girl was almost one. So his relationship with his baby mama was supposedly toxic like one day he was at my place (before we started talking) on the phone arguing back and forth with her. So look when I date a guy as long as I know he’s taking care of his child I typically don’t interfere in baby mama drama plus I didn’t see homie as a boyfriend or a husband sooo what’s the point of me trying to be a mediator. Anyways the whole time we laying up and going on dates and screwing I promise y’all this man was never on the phone like that. Well one day he was busy at work and so was I so we had a quickie after work and then that was it. Well I get home I’m relaxing in bed and my best friend is blowing me up so as soon as I answer bitch don’t even say hello her first statement is “ummm who’s that baby on our coworkers snap” so I go look at his snap and can’t see anything. So my friend drives 15 minutes to my place to show me this damn snap. I look and low and behold it definitely looks like young bulls baby and his baby mama in the background at some apartment. So me being me I call him and try to figure out what’s up. Actually wrong I call him snapping because my toxic trait is I assume first and fly tf off the handle. So we’re going back and forth my coworker is like we’re coming to your place to settle this. Homie claims BM is here to just let him see his child and if he was with her why would he be on the phone fighting for me to believe him. So the arguing is lowkey turning me on (another toxic bitch trait I have) so next thing I know well we’re having sex. Real good sex too. So the next day I’m minding my business and I decide to stalk this man’s social media. Y’all I end up on his baby mama’s page and literally 10 minutes before these folks done got married. So I’m like wtf this man really pulled a fast one on me. So I’m petty and I’m a snitch so I politely hit the BM up and let her know what’s been going on. Y’all this is the reason why I don’t help females out anymore. Sis get mad at me. Basically I became the hoe that stalked and trapped her innocent fiancé. So then I’m feeling real petty so I go on sis page and post a picture of me and her man in bed the day before their wedding. Sorry not sorry. She calls me telling me how she’s coming to beat my ass cause she knows where I live. I politely slid up the Hooters shorts that her man bought to see me model and I sat on the steps waiting on her to pull up.....y’all she still haven’t came but umm yeah real crazy time. Luckily or maybe luckily I think they’re still together and on their third child. Looking back though I see why she stayed cause she had nothing going on and to her I know that BAH and Tricare was looking real good. Still that was a real fun month in my life.
Monday, January 27, 2020
Yesterday we lost a GOAT a real legend someone we all knew of. If you’re a late 80s and 90s Baby then we grew up as Kobe being our basketball star. I always heard of Jordan but as a child and teenager I was able to see Kobe. Unfortunately his life was cut short at the age of 41. I’m personally not a stranger to seeing how life can be cut short at any time. My father was 43 when he died. However when these deaths come and hit us in our guts. After we’ve cried and questioned God’s decision, I think it’s time for us to reflect. When I heard of the news I was sad as a fan because he was a dope basketball player but I mourned as a mother and daughter. I thought back to losing my father at the age of 13 and all the amazing things he missed and all the memories we hadn’t yet made. Then I looked at my babygirl only five years old and thinks of me as her world and I thought what my loss would do to her and what we she remember about me. Would she remember my Cleo cornrows after I snatched off my wig after a long day at work, would she remember our trips to McDonald’s when I don’t feel like cooking, would she remember the millions of times we watched Frozen, or the trips to Disney? Would those memories be enough? Everyday I think of all my adventures with my dad but I still crave more so would she feel that emptiness that I feel. Then last and the most hurtful I thought what if I lost my baby. My saving grace, the second true love of my life after my father, the only person in this entire world that loves me unconditionally. She loves me with morning breath, loves me when I scold her, loves me when I pass gas, loves me with $1 or $100. I quickly had to get that out of my mind or I’d be sobbing all night. However as all deaths do it gave me a different type of feeling. A feeling like damn I’m still here. A motivation, a calm feeling, a thankful feeling. Right after I got that new from horrid ass TMZ I was still able to walk over to my daughter (who was eating chocolate) and hug and kiss her. I don’t wake up everyday thankful to be here. Some days I’m managing my depression or anxiety, I’m thinking about bills, annoyed with work, going through relationship drama, or whatever but this morning I woke up thankful. This morning I realized that for one I need to (corny quote coming) but “seize each day“. Value each kiss I can give to my little ones and remind those around me that I love them. Honestly this didn’t just hit me this just was a reinforcer. It hit me last month when I randomly felt the urge to call my grandmother. I hadn’t seen her in months and I thought I’d take her to lunch. While we were out I noticed how long she had lived and how to me that time went by so fast. She still thought I was in my early 20s and here I am pushing 30. She was telling me how it seemed like yesterday I was a chunky ass little girl eating my favorite (field peas and okra (made by her) in her kitchen. Life is so precious we think we’ll all see 70 or 80 but in reality every day we get closer to death and for some of us death isn’t far off. I say this to say tell your folks you love them. Mend old beefs. Apologize if you were wrong and stop trying to always be right. Stop being the moral police and instead of judging just love in folks. Spend more time with your kids then you do in the streets with your friends. Take these kids out cause sitting at home is not the only mode of quality time. Kids deserve family vacations and get aways. Last but not least LIVE because a lot of us are just existing. I wanna live a life that when I close my eyes and see it flash before me I can smile and when my friends and family mourn me they can smile because they knew when I left here I was happy and loved. I love you all and please keep all the families of all the victims in your prayers.......and also screw TMZ!!
Sunday, January 19, 2020
So unless you live under a rock or have sworn off technology then I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the news about Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. A few years back they fell in love got married and she follows him back to his kingdom or his grandmother’s kingdom to live happily ever after. Well during their time over their Meghan has been treated poorly by the press, citizens, and even though I’m not 100% sure my spirit is telling me that her in laws were nasty to her as well. So last week her and her husband announced that they were taking a break from the royal life and will only be in Kensington Palace and the UK half the time. Listen all I have to say about this is ENERGY. To have someone you love or are in a relationship with value your mental health and well-being over a job or title is one of the most amazing things you can have. I’ve seen people come for his neck about his decision to potentially have issues with his family and lose his title but that is his WIFE. I don’t know if you all remember but his mother went through the same thing except her husband never offered her an escape route and ultimately it resulted in her death. Now that I’m older I realize having peace and being at peace is worth more than gold. Now I’m not saying money and benefits are import but check this out. In the first quarter of 2019 from January to March 90 active duty service members committed suicide. That’s in only three months. Mind you the military offers decent pay and great benefits but guess what those people still weren’t at peace and it cost them their life. When someone tells you they’re in a toxic situation and they aren’t happy and they’re your spouse or someone you claim to love (could just be friends or family) support their decision. I literally just had this conversation with my boyfriend about how I have to get out the Army I’m not happy anymore and I was so relieved when he didn’t try to talk me out and supported me if that’s what I was passionate about. I was relieved however because everyone else around me stresses staying in for a check and retirement in 20 years. So fuck my mental health right 🙄. Like I said I get how important finances are and being financially stable and having money is but I’ve also been in such a depressed and dark state of mind to where I thought my only option was death. I’d never want to be so deep in toxic situations that I feel that way again especially when I have a five year old daughter that would suffer because of it. So Harry has my upmost respect. I see so many people bashing him and tearing him down because he’s looking out for the betterment of his life. If you really love someone you’ll always consider their mental and emotional state when making moves. Especially when you have a child or children together. Your children definitely pick up on the negative energy coursing though their household as they grow up. They see when mom and dad or off. They can tell when something is going on. Earlier this year I took Harmony (my daughter) to one of my therapy sessions. My therapist asked me if I thought Harmony could notice when I’m going through trials and tribulations, as a defensive mom I of course said hell no but then he asked Harmony a few questions and she started pointing out times when I was stressed or when I was off and I was like damn this shit is real. So yes if you love the people around you and you see they’re in a toxic position then pull them out. There’s nothing cute or fun about feeling mentally or emotionally drained. I saw a post on Twitter that was praising Aaron Hernandez’ fiancé for being his ride or die during his trial and then someone retweeted it and said he shouldn’t have put her in that position in the first place and listen y’all I could’ve got up and did a praise dance. Don’t get me wrong I’m gonna ride for my man but again the position he put her in and the mind frame was emotionally and mentally toxic and she had a child on top of it. So yes I’ll say it Prince Harry is goals and Meghan owes him the most unconditional love for the sacrifice he made for her well-being!
Sunday, January 12, 2020
Well good morning my love bugs. This is the first blog of 2020. Now it’s barely over a week in and 2020 has gotten off to a crazy start. There has been so much political wise that I’ve wanted to really speak on in this blog but surprisingly I’ve held my tongue. However now that we are in a new decade I’ve decided I’ll start a new segment. This new segment will be about shit y’all should leave back in the 10s. Today I wanna start off with leaving cowardice in the 10s. Now listen I’ll keep it real. I was not always this upfront l, courageous, honest woman you guys know now. There was definitely a time in my life when I was a coward and I’d probably throw a stone and hide my hand. I’d also like to remind you that I was a damn teenager during this time and hadn’t found my voice. However as most of us are in our 20s and 30s please stop. Listen in everything I do I’m (how do the youngsters say it?) “ten toes down” about it. If I said it oh well, if I was wrong I’ll apologize, if I was being shady I’ll say it, if it was messy I’ll stand by the mess I created. That’s part of being an adult though. I know for a fact I’m not always right and I’ve definitely done my share of dirt but if it just so happens that a judgement day comes and my personal life is playing on the screen a strong 80% of the things I did I’ll be confident in letting it be seen.....the other 20% are very much S&M related and I’d prefer the good Lord skip over those parts. Some of y’all though are 20/30 and still in that coward teenage mindset. Let’s leave that in the 10s. If you’re scary don’t part your lips to talk about anyone or stir up any mess. I feel like social media and just general disconnect from human contact allows people to feel as if they are courageous but yet still be a coward. Now listen I’m not saying no one can gossip because truth be told we all gossip either we spreading the tea or sipping it. However you have to stand in your truth when it catches up to you. There’s been so many people over this past year who have said little things about me and think I don’t know but lord knows if I asked them they would shit a brick. The other day at work this girl came up to me woman to woman and the shit threw me off guard no lie. Anyways sis came up to me to let me know she got caught up in some drama of which someone was bashing me and she joined in. Listen that’s the shit I’m here for. Like my best friend used to say “be bout that shit you bark”. I respect that girl so much more than any else who was involved that talked about me then got up and came to smile in my face. That shit is dead to me and the biggest place I’ve seen it is in the ARMY. If there’s a particular group of females that I don’t like it would be friendly Army females. Let me give y’all a quick story and example of why. So when I was in Korea I had a small group of friends. It was three of us and then the three kinda became four. Well one of us got a roommate and everyone wanted to welcome her with open arms. Of course by now y’all know I’m iffy so I was on edge but I kept warning my friends that she seemed off. Well she crossed me and I definitely stopped fucking with her. Well while we were still all friends it was two girls also in Korea that we definitely didn’t kick it with. One was this psychotic ass (no offense Haitian) that would literally be in the room doing voodoo and banging on her walls and floors and the other one was weird (like stealing folks clothes out the laundry weird). So of course as women do we talked our shit about them and swore we’d never fuck with them. One by one we all left Korea well when ol girl was left there by herself......like weak females do she ended up folding and becoming friends with the same females she dragged. That’s not even an isolated event I see this happen all the time. This is why I come off standoffish or I stick to myself. At the duty station I’m currently in I’ve only had three female friends one is a whole married woman the other is now in Germany and the other is a civilian I met through a friend I made online. Listen if I’m not with either of them I’m not stepping out cause I’ve seen these other females for who and what they are. We live in a generation of people who are dying to fit in and dying to have friends and they do anything for that social status. I’ve seen females spread gossip or talk down on someone and their excuse for not approaching the person they have an issue with is because they are terrified of confrontation. No ma’am that’s not it at all because when I was a small child I was terrified of confrontation too but the difference is you couldn’t get me to part my lips about anyone or anything. See there’s a difference between being afraid of confrontation and stirring up mess. If you’re afraid of confrontation you don’t wanna be apart of no mess of drama. You walk around with your head down minding your own business and staying in your own lane. Y’all take this no confrontation as you can go around and talk shit and stir up mess and have people go at it and wash your hands of it but listen y’all have to be careful because eventually everything comes full circle. So for the remainder of 2020 do what you feel comfortable saying you did......did you catch that?
Wednesday, December 4, 2019
So I’ve had this discussion with two of my closet friends twice in a two week span and we’ve all had this issue so it’s time we publicly discuss this. The only people in this world that should be financially dependent on another human being is children, terminally ill, and elderly and by elderly I mean 80 and up. Stop making the financial responsible folks in your family (or your group of friends) feel like they need to carry your financial burdens or they need to bail you out due to your mistakes. Now I understand we all fall on hard times and need a hand but if you aren’t actively changing the situation around you then don’t like at your family and friends as selfish because we don’t want to bail you out. Now I need y’all to kick off your little shoes and grab your tea because we really about to dig into this. Okay so here it is another holiday season and I’m starting to turn into little Scrooge.....why because one by one my inbox has been filled with demands of what folks want for Christmas. Yes y’all heard me demands....first of all that’s not what the season is about. I promise you I laid out a list for everyone but if I didn’t get anything but gift cards and bath &body works candles I’d be grateful. The only expensive gifts I expect are from the man I sleep with and whoever I cash app to take Harmony to get what I want 😂😂😂. Other than that I don’t know folks pockets and I’m not greedy. So today I got into it with someone fairly close to me because of this same issue. This person decided they would buy Harmony a gift in exchange for me getting a gift for them they demanded. First of all if y’all out here doing that then that’s low especially to single mother’s. For those of us tackling this parent shit alone the holidays are strenuous because we literally have to make up for both parents so if you offer to get something for my child (while yes I will get you something) don’t demand what it is you get and don’t make it some expensive thing you can’t regularly get for yourself. The only person I’m responsible for spoiling during the holidays is Harmony, my niece, and my man anyone else gives me their list and I’ll see what I can do! This doesn’t just happen on the holidays though it’s daily. If you have money or financially responsible folks feel entitled to your spare change. Y’all don’t know how often I’m asked for money but ask me how often these same people do anything for me or even check on me. When some people call or text I already know what the conversation is about to be and that annoys me. Now I’m not a hard ass I feel for people who fall on hard times and go through things but some of y’all stay in these positions and guilt those around you to help. Don’t think Asia doesn’t have times where I’m like damn. Shoot in 2015 I had a WHOLE year of it. I was around here sick but I promise you I worked my way out of it and I sacrificed. Before I make anyone feel financially responsible for my downfall I’ll find some type of way to hustle so I can pull my weight or hold my own. Y’all have to understand those people in your life that have money or seem fiscally responsible also make sacrifices within their own home and lifestyle and every time you come around with your hand out or your pouting ass face you’re taking away something they work hard for. I used to read in the blogs about all these disgruntled families of celebrities and I’d be thinking “Damn if I ever got on I’d make sure my whole team straight” but now (and I’m not even ON) I can see why because some of y’all want to drain, drain, drain and never damn help yourselves and then when someone tells you no then here comes the guilt trip. I promise you if I say no once I turn into the worst everything and all of what I do is quickly forgotten because of that one no. However if I don’t say no and I end up flat on my ass I promise you no one is coming to my rescue. So this holiday season before y’all think someone “has it” and you want it please think of all the work they put it. Matter of fact don’t just apply that to the season apply that to every damn day. Before y’all throw your financial burdens or you expensive wishes on someone please think of how many hours they worked, how long they went to school, all their side hustles. and all their training and certifications and then think of all the bills they may have paid and any other unexpected expenses then think of them wanting to save and now after all of that think to yourself with their spare change do they really wanna give it to you. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and Happy Holidays!!
Sunday, November 10, 2019
So unless you live under a rock or have 0 social media then I’m sure you’ve heard about Alexia Crawford. If you haven’t I’ll explain. She was a 21 year old senior at Clark Atlanta University. She was murdered by her roommate/friend and the roommate’s boyfriend. She went missing the day before Halloween and the roommate putting up posts and helping search like she didn’t just help kill that girl. Anyways since I was little I’ve been closed off....I have a few friends now but they’ve been vetted and I mean vetted. I’ve always been told I’m the mean friend who doesn’t like people and that’s no lie. A lot of my friends (no offense) are way too friendly for me. They wanna accept and have fun with everyone. Me I’m not on that and this story is exactly why. Folks are fake and dangerous af. One of the first things my father told me is to trust no one. Y’all have to be careful out here. That partying with everyone and letting everyone feed you drinks is dead af to me. “ASIA she’s cool let her come out with us” 🗣NOPE. I’m telling you like y’all don’t understand how protective of myself I am cause it’s a lot more fake and fraudulent shot going on than real shit. Especially when it comes to females and make mixing. Alexis was ultimately killed because her roommate’s boyfriend was sexually assaulting and possibly raped her. Instead of the roommate dumping her boyfriend she acted like most of y’all (Silly over trash ass niggas) and stuck by her trifling boyfriend. I’m sure it was his idea to murder her so he could beat a rape charge and her ass already being a jealous smut fell for it. So naw I’m good on being friendly. Every time I’ve been extra friendly to females that seemed a little off that shit has backfired. Y’all gotta stop letting everyone in your aura and thinking everyone is solid. Drink and laugh with a female two times and y’all feel like y’all best friend ESPECIALLY in the Army whole time she’s sleeping with your husband. I’m telling y’all every male or female I claim as a best friend I’ve at least had one or two disagreements with to see how they move afterwards. Not only that but I don’t want any “YES MEN” as friends.....those friends that agree with everything you do or say yep I’m telling you now fake af. They agree to your face and go right behind your back and dawg you out. Men let me tell ya y’all probably have the fakest friendships cause y’all be so scared to check y’all brothers so instead you either talk shit about him or be in his girl DMs. Don’t disagree with me because I have receipts from 2015 to prove my theory. Basically what I’m saying y’all is protect yourselves. Everyone isn’t meant to have close access to you and everyone isn’t your friends. One of my closest friends I used to argue with everyday but on everything she’s one of the realest females I know. She’ll tell me when I’m dead ass wrong and if anything is said about me she’ll have my back and FaceTime me so you can say it to my face. I’ve had fake friends so I already know from a ten minute conversation what category I’ll put you in. I had a best friend (or so I thought) that knew my husband was cheating on me chile she sat at a table with me looking shocked as I cried. Me and her had one disagreement and sis put all my business out on Facebook and the disagreement was me trying to protect her....that’s the real gag. Another story....I had a friend well I thought of her more as a little sister. She was a people pleaser....you know the type of folks that wanna be friends with everybody and will do anything to fit in. Anyways we worked together and I knew how she was but I loved her and was so over protective of her. I left the shop because in the Army we swap out like every year or so. No shop is gonna be completely the same for years and years. Anyways I left thinking that’s still my sis but as soon as she needed clout with the new crew best believe she talked shit about her days ones. Dead ass I call back to the office and some chick on the phone laughing saying she’s heard about me 🤔🤔 heard what. That’s when my other friend calls me telling me what she’s heard through the grapevine. I mean homegirl pulled up my records to show these folks for some clout. This is exactly why I am the way I am. I had a girl I was friend with in Korea who slept with a dude I talked to not even a full month after I left. Naw these hoes are not to be trusted especially easily. I don’t have folks in my home, I don’t drink around big crowds, I drive my own car. . Like shit seems sweet but it’s not and it’s more people praying on your downfall than your come up. Your name is in more negative conversations than positive one even within your so called friendships. Anyways Rest In Peace to Alexis Crawford. I was praying for a better outcome and praying she’d be okay but now I’m praying for her soul and praying her family gets justice.
Sunday, October 27, 2019
Good Afternoon love bugs, today we’re gonna discuss patience. I know for myself I absolutely have none. I want everything to happen right then and right now and no I don’t wanna wait. So over the past few weeks I’ve really been talking to God. I’ve been praying day and night, I’ve whipped out my sage and incense, and I’ve just been trying to manifest in the things that I want. Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting discouraged because sometimes I don’t see my dreams and prayers coming into form. However today in my Sunday afternoon bubble bath I recapped things going on in my life and God is moving. So Asia is no pastor but I do believe in God and I do believe sometimes he puts us in situations and storms to be able to share with our people. It’s been multiple people who have stepped to me asking questions or just expressing themselves because God gave me this platform to relate and be there for y’all. So as I’m in the tub thinking I’m like damn I gotta put this in the blog. I had been praying over the podcast and whether or not I should do it or if I was ready. Now I don’t know if any of you have ever read the book The Alchemist but please do. I meant to write a blog on it but I never got around to it. Anyways part of the book is encouraging this young man to chase his dream and multiple times in the book they reference that if something is your personal legend then the universe will align for you to reach it no matter what obstacles you’re going through. So there was a day that I was beating myself up and I’m like naw I can’t do this podcast. When I tell y’all out of the blue an associate not even a close friend but associate hit me up like “Girl when is the podcast coming out?”. Then later that night I spoke to a young woman I was building a friendship with and mentioned the podcast and she was like oh you have the tone and the demeanor to run a podcast. So then a couple days go by and it’s still weighing on me and honestly it’s just the fear of failure but we all know that fear will definitely make you change your mind. Anyways my cousin who I spoke to about the podcast slides in my inbox with definite plans. This was big for me because even though we spoke on it I wasn’t sure how serious he was but yeah he was dead ass. So those were signs for me that I’m doing the right things and despite my fears and doubts God is making this happen and he’s pushing it forward. Okay so another thing I had been praying for is my love life. Listen I never tell every detail of my love life cause baby that changes daily. However I spoke to God about something very specific. When I spoke to him I said lord just give me a sign and put me in the right position of what I should do. Friday I went to see my therapist and don’t yall know everything God wanted me to hear he put in that man’s mouth. It was literally almost as if I had butt dialed my therapist while praying. Then that same not God put me in position for something else like damn magic. So if you’re out there feeling discouraged or feeling like things aren’t moving your way please pay attention to the signs and please remain steadfast and patient because our season is coming and everything we prayed for is being manifested as we speak!! Love y’all ❤️
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