Wednesday, December 4, 2019

No one is financially responsible for you!!

So I’ve had this discussion with two of my closet friends twice in a two week span and we’ve all had this issue so it’s time we publicly discuss this. The only people in this world that should be financially dependent on another human being is children, terminally ill, and elderly and by elderly I mean 80 and up. Stop making the financial responsible folks in your family (or your group of friends) feel like they need to carry your financial burdens or they need to bail you out due to your mistakes. Now I understand we all fall on hard times and need a hand but if you aren’t actively changing the situation around you then don’t like at your family and friends as selfish because we don’t want to bail you out. Now I need y’all to kick off your little shoes and grab your tea because we really about to dig into this. Okay so here it is another holiday season and I’m starting to turn into little Scrooge.....why because one by one my inbox has been filled with demands of what folks want for Christmas. Yes y’all heard me demands....first of all that’s not what the season is about. I promise you I laid out a list for everyone but if I didn’t get anything but gift cards and bath &body works candles I’d be grateful. The only expensive gifts I expect are from the man I sleep with and whoever I cash app to take Harmony to get what I want 😂😂😂. Other than that I don’t know folks pockets and I’m not greedy. So today I got into it with someone fairly close to me because of this same issue. This person decided they would buy Harmony a gift in exchange for me getting a gift for them they demanded. First of all if y’all out here doing that then that’s low especially to single mother’s. For those of us tackling this parent shit alone the holidays are strenuous because we literally have to make up for both parents so if you offer to get something for my child (while yes I will get you something) don’t demand what it is you get and don’t make it some expensive thing you can’t regularly get for yourself. The only person I’m responsible for spoiling during the holidays is Harmony, my niece, and my man anyone else gives me their list and I’ll see what I can do! This doesn’t just happen on the holidays though it’s daily. If you have money or financially responsible folks feel entitled to your spare change. Y’all don’t know how often I’m asked for money but ask me how often these same people do anything for me or even check on me. When some people call or text I already know what the conversation is about to be and that annoys me. Now I’m not a hard ass I feel for people who fall on hard times and go through things but some of y’all stay in these positions and guilt those around you to help. Don’t think Asia doesn’t have times where I’m like damn. Shoot in 2015 I had a WHOLE year of it. I was around here sick but I promise you I worked my way out of it and I sacrificed. Before I make anyone feel financially responsible for my downfall I’ll find some type of way to hustle so I can pull my weight or hold my own. Y’all have to understand those people in your life that have money or seem fiscally responsible also make sacrifices within their own home and lifestyle and every time you come around with your hand out or your pouting ass face you’re taking away something they work hard for. I used to read in the blogs about all these disgruntled families of celebrities and I’d be thinking “Damn if I ever got on I’d make sure my whole team straight” but now (and I’m not even ON) I can see why because some of y’all want to drain, drain, drain and never damn help yourselves and then when someone tells you no then here comes the guilt trip. I promise you if I say no once I turn into the worst everything and all of what I do is quickly forgotten because of that one no. However if I don’t say no and I end up flat on my ass I promise you no one is coming to my rescue. So this holiday season before y’all think someone “has it” and you want it please think of all the work they put it. Matter of fact don’t just apply that to the season apply that to every damn day. Before y’all throw your financial burdens or you expensive wishes on someone please think of how many hours they worked, how long they went to school, all their side hustles. and all their training and certifications and then think of all the bills they may have paid and any other unexpected expenses then think of them wanting to save and now after all of that think to yourself  with their spare change do they really wanna give it to you. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and Happy Holidays!!

Sunday, November 10, 2019

I’m not friendly

So unless you live under a rock or have 0 social media then I’m sure you’ve heard about Alexia Crawford. If you haven’t I’ll explain. She was a 21 year old senior at Clark Atlanta University. She was murdered by her roommate/friend and the roommate’s boyfriend. She went missing the day before Halloween and the roommate putting up posts and helping search like she didn’t just help kill that girl. Anyways since I was little I’ve been closed off....I have a few friends now but they’ve been vetted and I mean vetted. I’ve always been told I’m the mean friend who doesn’t like people and that’s no lie. A lot of my friends (no offense) are way too friendly for me. They wanna accept and have fun with everyone. Me I’m not on that and this story is exactly why. Folks are fake and dangerous af. One of the first things my father told me is to trust no one. Y’all have to be careful out here. That partying with everyone and letting everyone feed you drinks is dead af to me. “ASIA she’s cool let her come out with us” 🗣NOPE. I’m telling you like y’all don’t understand how protective of myself I am cause it’s a lot more fake and fraudulent shot going on than real shit. Especially when it comes to females and make mixing. Alexis was ultimately killed because her roommate’s boyfriend was sexually assaulting and possibly raped her. Instead of the roommate dumping her boyfriend she acted like most of y’all (Silly over trash ass niggas) and stuck by her trifling boyfriend. I’m sure it was his idea to murder her so he could beat a rape charge and her ass already being a jealous smut fell for it. So naw I’m good on being friendly.  Every time I’ve been extra friendly to females that seemed a little off that shit has backfired. Y’all gotta stop letting everyone in your aura and thinking everyone is solid. Drink and laugh with a female two times and y’all feel like y’all best friend ESPECIALLY in the Army whole time she’s sleeping with your husband. I’m telling y’all every male or female I claim as a best friend I’ve at least had one or two disagreements with to see how they move afterwards. Not only that but I don’t want any “YES MEN” as friends.....those friends that agree with everything you do or say yep I’m telling you now fake af. They agree to your face and go right behind your back and dawg you out. Men let me tell ya y’all probably have the fakest friendships cause y’all be so scared to check y’all brothers so instead you either talk shit about him or be in his girl DMs. Don’t disagree with me because I have receipts from 2015 to prove my theory.  Basically what I’m saying y’all is protect yourselves. Everyone isn’t meant to have close access to you and everyone isn’t your friends. One of my closest friends I used to argue with everyday but on everything she’s one of the realest females I know. She’ll tell me when I’m dead ass wrong and if anything is said about me she’ll have my back and FaceTime me so you can say it to my face. I’ve had fake friends so I already know from a ten minute conversation what category I’ll put you in. I had a best friend (or so I thought) that knew my husband was cheating on me chile she sat at a table with me looking shocked as I cried. Me and her had one disagreement and sis put all my business out on Facebook and the disagreement was me trying to protect her....that’s the real gag. Another story....I had a friend well I thought of her more as a little sister. She was a people pleaser....you know the type of folks that wanna be friends with everybody and will do anything to fit in. Anyways we worked together and I knew how she was but I loved her and was so over protective of her. I left the shop because in the Army we swap out like every year or so. No shop is gonna be completely the same for years and years. Anyways I left thinking that’s still my sis but as soon as she needed clout with the new crew best believe she talked shit about her days ones. Dead ass I call back to the office and some chick on the phone laughing saying she’s heard about me 🤔🤔 heard what. That’s when my other friend calls me telling me what she’s heard through the grapevine. I mean homegirl pulled up my records to show these folks for some clout. This is exactly why I am the way I am. I had a girl I was friend with in Korea who slept with a dude I talked to not even a full month after I left. Naw these hoes are not to be trusted especially easily. I don’t have folks in my home, I don’t drink around big crowds, I drive my own car.  . Like shit seems sweet but it’s not and it’s more people praying on your downfall than your come up. Your name is in more negative conversations than positive one even within your so called friendships. Anyways Rest In Peace to Alexis Crawford. I was praying for a better outcome and praying she’d be okay but now I’m praying for her soul and praying her family gets justice. 

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Patience is a Virtue

Good Afternoon love bugs, today we’re gonna discuss patience. I know for myself I absolutely have none. I want everything to happen right then and right now and no I don’t wanna wait. So over the past few weeks I’ve really been talking to God. I’ve been praying day and night, I’ve whipped out my sage and incense, and I’ve just been trying to manifest in the things that I want. Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting discouraged because sometimes I don’t see my dreams and prayers coming into form. However today in my Sunday afternoon bubble bath I recapped things going on in my life and God is moving. So Asia is no pastor but I do believe in God and I do believe sometimes he puts us in situations and storms to be able to share with our people. It’s been multiple people who have stepped to me asking questions or just expressing themselves because God gave me this platform to relate and be there for y’all. So as I’m in the tub thinking I’m like damn I gotta put this in the blog. I had been praying over the podcast and whether or not I should do it or if I was ready. Now I don’t know if any of you have ever read the book The Alchemist but please do. I meant to write a blog on it but I never got around to it. Anyways part of the book is encouraging this young man to chase his dream and multiple times in the book they reference that if something is your personal legend then the universe will align for you to reach it no matter what obstacles you’re going through. So there was a day that I was beating myself up and I’m like naw I can’t do this podcast. When I tell y’all out of the blue an associate not even a close friend but associate hit me up like “Girl when is the podcast coming out?”. Then later that night I spoke to a young woman I was building a friendship with and mentioned the podcast and she was like oh you have the tone and the demeanor to run a podcast. So then a couple days go by and it’s still weighing on me and honestly it’s just the fear of failure but we all know that fear will definitely make you change your mind. Anyways my cousin who I spoke to about the podcast slides in my inbox with definite plans. This was big for me because even though we spoke on it I wasn’t sure how serious he was but yeah he was dead ass. So those were signs for me that I’m doing the right things and despite my fears and doubts God is making this happen and he’s pushing it forward. Okay so another thing I had been praying for is my love life. Listen I never tell every detail of my love life cause baby that changes daily. However I spoke to God about something very specific. When I spoke to him I said lord just give me a sign and put me in the right position of what I should do. Friday I went to see my therapist and don’t yall know everything God wanted me to hear he put in that man’s mouth. It was literally almost as if I had butt dialed my therapist while praying. Then that same not God put me in position for something else like damn magic. So if you’re out there feeling discouraged or feeling like things aren’t moving your way please pay attention to the signs and please remain steadfast and patient because our season is coming and everything we prayed for is being manifested as we speak!! Love y’all ❤️

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Self-Care

Good morning my loves.....Happy Sunday....I would usually be depressed  because I hate Sundays but I have tomorrow off and I get a new puppy today annndddd I get to go home and watch Power so it’s lit. However we will not be celebrating Columbus Day 🤧 if y’all want the woke blog on that just comment below or slide in my DMs cause my real friends know how I get this blog can go from India Arie to 1982 Angela Davis real gah damn quick. Anyways for the past two weeks I was having migraines on top of migraines and then back pains and feeling sluggish and disgusting however this weekend I felt great. I can attribute that to the fact that I just saw one of my best friends for the first time in a year and we really had a fun time not to mention I had my forever PIC Harmony with me. Anyways this morning as I’m in this comfortable hotel bed I realize my next mini vacation isn’t until November so does this mean I get to spend the next three weeks with a migraine. Naw we ain’t doing that so I decided to impose a self care challenge on myself. I’ve invited people on social media to do it so it’ll be a collective group trying to get better. At the end of the 30 days I’ll blog about my experience before and after and those who participated. Also if you’d like to join please comment below or slide in my DMs or reach out to me via social media or email. Anyways the stipulations are
1. Celibacy (this includes toys and masturbation)
2. Read a book of your choice for at least 30 minutes every night
3.Workout for at least 30 minutes 5 days a week
4. No fast food or friend foods
5. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day
6.Do something special for yourself each week (This could be grabbing your favorite cup of coffee, a mani/pedi, going out for drinks, the spa, going to the beach.....just anything that’s a stress reliever and can put a smile on your face.

I’m expecting great results from this and I really need to detoxify my spirit right now so I’m super excited. We’ll be starting tomorrow and I hope all of my love bugs join.

Saturday, October 12, 2019

I’m not relaxing shit

Damn y’all I honestly had no intentions of posting a blog today. I’m actually out in Orlando reuniting with one of my best friends and having a small getaway. Anyways I just woke up at 6 am from a nightmare and I woke up with this topic heavy on my heart. So let’s get into it. A couple weeks ago I was talking to a dude in my DMs (also s very good friend) and we were discussing relationship standards and I told him at this point in my like I want what I want and I’m not settling so he said something to the effect of don’t be too harsh and miss out on your blessing. I texted back yeah yeah but then I really sat there and thought about it and said fuck all that especially when it comes to dating men. Now when I say standards I’m not talking about I’m over here demanding a man who makes six figures or only drives foreign or no shit like that. Although I do appreciate men who spoil me I also have been doing for myself for awhile now so I got it covered. Plus you can’t expect those things from someone if you don’t have them. That goes for men too cause some of y’all get on social media and drag women for their appearance and forget that at the age of 26 your nose still runs, you still have bad acne, you can’t dress, and your dick little. So it trips me out when y’all describe these perfect women like she’d skip past all Tyson Beckfords in the world and come lay with yo dusty ashy ass. Anyways though when I say standards I mean emotionally. I noticed in this new generation men ride the “I’m hurt” wave to escape stepping up to the plate and being emotionally and mentally accountable in relationships. Like a nigga will be so hurt from the past but somehow those trash ass dicks work but I’m just saying. Ladies hold these men accountable and if you run into a man who can’t give you what you need bounce. I’m not a huge Evelyn Lozada fan but something she said stuck out to me “I know what I bring to the table so I’m not afraid to eat alone”. Check it out y’all let me tell you why emotionally and mentally i have standards that I will not relax. At the age of 18 I was sexually assaulted and later raped. I got the choice to say no taken from me because a man felt that his sexual urges overpowered my freedom to wear what I want and be free, he saw boobs and a butt and knew he had to have it no matter if I said no or stop. I got married at the age of 20 and got straight into cater mode. I got pregnant which was one of the most beautiful and difficult experiences I’ve ever had. During that pregnancy I was very depressed and scared. During that same pregnancy my husband cheated on me not once but twice. I wanted to leave but I was terrified of first what everyone would say about my perfect marriage falling apart and two I never dreamed of being a single mother. I remember going to this Pentecostal church crying dead ass crying about my marriage and one of the mothers in the church told me divorce was not an option. At this same time I’m occasionally getting slapped around or verbally abused. I remember one night our argument got so bad he told me I’d be a horrible mother and I wasn’t worth shit....I got slapped too but he brought home roses and I was young and didn’t know what my standards were so I stayed. I had my beautiful daughter and fell into post partum depression. My body changed completely my hormones were everywhere and all of a sudden I was responsible for this human. Harmony actually wasn’t a hard baby though just fat. I would say a month after giving birth I found out my husband cheated yet again . At a moment where I felt my most vulnerable my stomach was big and saggy I had stretch marks I never had before my boobs were leaking and I was getting cheated on.  Through the course of that marriage I got guns pulled on me I got hit on in public parking lots just all types of crazy shit. Fast forward to a couple relationships in the future. I started dating this guy he had several mental issues you know PTSD, Depression, and things of that nature. I know how it feels to be in those positions so I took upon myself to spoil and cater to him. Anything he want he got. I was getting off of work heading to his place cleaning, constantly bringing dinner. Oh you want your dick sucked oh let me do that right now. You want to fuck even though I’m tired naw it’s okay mount up. Still got cheated on. So check this out when I tell a man I want romance, I want honesty, I want effective communication, and so on I’m not relaxing a motherfucking thing. IDGAF. Cause if I acted like what I’d been through  I be the City Girls on ten. So ladies and damaged men too if y’all keep hearing folks tell y’all they can’t live up to your standards cut sling load. It’s 2019 and just like y’all call the City Girls our for scamming dudes physically when y’all purposely walk around pretending you can’t cater to your significant others emotional and mental needs you’re scamming them emotionally. It’s 2019 we’ve all been hurt and we’ve all been through some deep dark shit but y’all gotta stop using that as excuses to why you can’t step up and be a decent human being to people you love or fuck with. We complain about dating in this generation but refuse to hold ourselves accountable as to why it’s fucked up. Everyone walking on egg shells on some “I’ve been hurt so I’m gonna be this tough until you prove me wrong” naw that’s not how it works. Also you can’t negotiate normal relationship needs because you’re lazy or selfish. It’s really men out here like “I don’t cheat but I suck at communicating so I may not talk to you for a week or so” no sweetie that’s not a fair trade that’s like you asking me for 2K20 and I come home with Street Hoops 97 like well I still bought you a game. Naw that shit ain’t cool and it’s a lot of y’all with the game fucked up both men and women. However if you’re one of the few that know what you have to offer and know that you need your standards met take this time to heal and enjoy life. I look at my friends and happy and healthy relationships and I’m legit happy for them but I’m also extremely comfortable in my single season. I take myself out and I spoil myself. I’ve learned to be intimate with myself I use my alone time to pray over myself and better myself so when that person who can meet my standards comes I’m the best version of myself I can give. Anyways I gotta get dressed to go get coffee....Love y’all ❤️

Monday, October 7, 2019

Productive Communication

Y’all first let me apologize for being out of the loop for the past couple weeks. I have a lot going on both good and bad and that’s been occupying my time. However I’d like to let y’all know that the podcast is coming ☺️☺️☺️. The premier date is proposed for Thanksgiving as of right now and I’m so excited to get started. It’s a lot of prep work and money that goes into it otherwise that shit would be up today. However if you would like to support the podcast you can donate through cashapp at $AsiaJ93 and in the subject line make sure you put its for the podcast. Also I’ll be putting out branded merchandise soon so save some coins to get y’all some merch. So anyways yesterday I was about to rip this guy I like a new one like I was really about to tear into him annnndddd a bitch was wrong. Yes although Asia is rarely wrong when I'm wrong I will admit it. So initially I was about to tear into him about our communication he’s not much of a talker and not one to express his feelings but y’all know me I’m very open and I love to interact through speaking. I was wrong though really wrong. So the issue was communication and I initially was putting all the blame on him but I'm about to say something I know will be used against me later. As women we have to listen and we also have to be in tune with our partners. Yes majority of the time we aren't getting fed emotionally or mentally by our partners but we can be so caught up on what we're not getting that we forget our partners need it too and they don’t necessarily need it the same way or in the same fashion. With that being said he had things going on that I had never fathomed because I was caught up on my men ain't shit platform. I think in this generation where couples get it wrong is that we're selfish. We want to love in our terms instead of our partners. Although in a lot of instances me and this man are alike when it comes to love and relationships we are very different and we’ve had very different experiences. So it's been a transition trying to get to know him and what he liked because I'm so used to dealing with things in my own terms instead of his. However, I apologized to him and we're on the right path as of now. I just wanted to put that out there though. So ladies before you completely go off on the deep end have that talk and communicate and realize that communicating includes active listening. Our partners deal with shit just like us except in men especially black men they don't often get that type of love and sympathy so they typically hold everything inside and hide. We not doing this in 2020 though.....I'm about to introduce him to something completely different. I'm not about to be one of those women who takes takes takes no sir. We talking about feelings and emotions. We sharing deep dark secrets and insecurities. We're speaking life into each other and motivating each other. Anyways my loves I gotta go but I just wanted to get that out. Love y'all!!

Monday, September 16, 2019

Worst Sexual Encounter

Hey my loves ❤️so the votes are in on what my next topic should be and you all (nasty asses) voted on my worst sexual experience. There was a few I could’ve threw in here but I narrowed it down to two so if your story isn’t in here be lucky. Okay so the first one was a few years back and y’all I feel bad because this experience was so bad I ended up cheating ðŸ˜©ðŸ˜©ðŸ˜©. Technically it was my friends fault because they encouraged me to stay even after I detailed this experience. Okay so this was fresh off my separation from my ex-husband and it had been a hot little minute since I had any. I met this dude I worked with and he was really cool. We started off as friends but he shot his relationship shot and I was lonely and depressed so I was like let’s do this. Okay so he’s at my house Harmony ended up spending the night with her nanny so I’m like yep this shit is going down. We we’re watch the babadook on Netflix on July 5,2015 yep I remember the gah damn day that’s how upset it made me. Okay so we’re sitting there and he’s rubbing my little fat thigh and we start kissing. So I take it a step further and hop in his lap straddling him to get a deeper kiss in. Now mind you this is during the time me and my ex-husband are separating so my self-esteem and confidence is hella low. Anyways while I’m straddling him I don’t feel his dick so now I’m like damn I must be ugly or I’m fat or my breath stinks or something cause that straddle always gets the men hard. So he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. So he asks me if I can suck him off. So I’m like okay I’ve known him the required amount of time and he’s taken me on the necessary amount of dates to get this treatment. Y’all I pulled down his pants and couldn’t believe my eyes. Homie had been hard the whole time he just had a little Vienna sausage and I’m not exaggerating like I have a little brother who’s diapers I had to change and they were in a tight race. So then I’m like damn I really like this dude and I’d feel so shallow breaking things off because of his size. So I’m pep talking myself like okay I can do this. Y’all then I get immediately mad because it feels like a peppermint in my mouth. So I give him a good two minutes before I’m annoyed cause he’s doing all this moaning and I can’t do none of my little tricks cause I’m scared I’m gonna swallow it whole. So I’m like okay just get on top. I honestly felt the tiniest insertion like usually my little face scrunches up and I give that deep sigh but nope. Then he keeps slipping in and out every time he tries to stroke so at this point I’m livid. So I push him off cause I’m like Tokyo Toni at this point ðŸ—£I’M READY TO GET THE FUCK.....ASAP AFTER THIS SHIT. He suggests that we flip over and he try it from the back ðŸ˜’😒😒sir you were drowning from the front and couldn’t stay in and you think you’re gonna survive behind all this ass ðŸ™„🙄🙄🙄. Pause* now fellas please stop dating us females with asses bigger than ya granny’s old school tv in her living room. Like he’s been the smallest but he’s not the only small one that’s tried. & I don’t care what y’all say while the motion in the ocean does matter y’all ain’t about to let some small ass sailboat in you when you craving a yacht. Anyways so after I’m mad as hell he talking about I must be tired that’s why I don’t wanna finish....biiiiittttccchhhh ðŸ˜‚😂😂😂😂 At this point I needed him gone. Needless to say that was our first and last time having sex and I ended up cheating on him with someone who was at least six inches and paid bills ðŸ˜‚😂😂😂😂. Okay for the second one it was the worst for two reasons. Before I start if you’re a guy that’s uncircumcised please understand that while you clean yourself off on top of the skin you still gotta pull that thang back and clean under. Now me and this dude were cool. One night he came over and gave me some of the best head. I wasn’t interested in having sec with him so when he pulled his pants down I rolled over and started snoring. However not before I noticed he was packing a nice bit. So around the third time of him giving me head I’m like fuck it let’s do this. One minute and forty-five seconds later we were done. A bitch didn’t get the chance to get a little rhythm with her hips or switch positions. So after he done wasted my time I’m like just go. Like if you know you coming over to visit the super soaker tight grip 3000 then you gotta rub the first one out on the top way ðŸ™„🙄🙄like can a bitch get at least ten minutes. That wasn’t the worst part though. So I’m super sentive down there and I can’t have sex with sweaty penis, after work penis, stink penis or anything of that nature. Like when I hear about other females in the Army having sex in the field or in Connex’s where it’s stank and muggy, or ports potty’s ðŸ¤§ðŸ¤§ðŸ¤§I be thinking ðŸ—£you dirty bitches. Anyways I told him to shower before he shows up at my door cause I don’t like dirty dick. Well I thought all uncircumcised men knew it takes a little bit more to get cleaned up. Apparently he didn’t know. The next morning I wake up boom a yeast infection. I mean listen I HATE yeast infections because all day you walking around itching like fuck and you can’t scratch and when you do you damn near gonna scrape your skin off. Then what made it even ten times worse is I didn’t have my detox pearls and I ran out of my yoni steam so then I gotta settle for using the chemical shit that burns. Never in my life had I ever caught a yeast infection from sex. Shit I didn’t think he was in there long enough to throw my PH balance off but ðŸ™„🙄🙄I was wrong. Before y’all ask yes it was a yeast infection I get checked before and after any new partners. But yeah those are my two worst sexual encounters ðŸ˜‚😂😂😂. Don’t ask me who cause I’m not gonna do them like that even though EVERYONE knows who the first one is ðŸ˜‚😂😂😂

No one is financially responsible for you!!

So I’ve had this discussion with two of my closet friends twice in a two week span and we’ve all had this issue so it’s time we publicly di...